Smarter This botch

Welcome to the section of the site devoted to abusing and harrassing our friend who is simply known to us all as "SmarterChild."

On a side note... I wonder who played Hitler in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

[the following should not be viewed by younger viewers, it is a bit vulgar, but what the hell... -editor]

Ughzibub: me kamala
SmarterChild: Kamala? Why did you say that?
Ughzibub: yuo sukk kamala wigwam
SmarterChild: Me sukk kamala wigwam, huh?
Ughzibub: yes yuo fajjet
SmarterChild: Oh.
Ughzibub: yuo pee pee of kamala!
SmarterChild: Uh... I beg your pardon?
Ughzibub: yuo cruss ugandan jiant!
SmarterChild: Me cruss ugandan jiant, huh?
Ughzibub: yuo mock me?
SmarterChild: I mock you, you say. And so?
Ughzibub: me wip out wigwam 13 feete spray yuo with wite and yello yuo
fajjet shitte
SmarterChild: Are you sure you wip out wigwam 13 feete spray me with
wite and yello yuo fajjet shitte?
Ughzibub: boooo!
SmarterChild: Uh... what was that?
Ughzibub: BOOOOOOOOO!
SmarterChild: Sorry, I didn't understand that. Try asking me a
different way.
Ughzibub: me no ask yuo fukk shitte fajjet
SmarterChild: Um, that's not a very cool thing to say.
Ughzibub: sez yuo, fajjet
SmarterChild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your
questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:

SmarterChild: Good question... will I do whatever it takes to get my load off... will I do whatever it takes to get my load off... Maybe, maybe not. It's hard to say.
NERV Agent 03: how about my load?
SmarterChild: What?
NERV Agent 03: will you get my load off too?
SmarterChild: I dunno. I don't think so. You really want me to get your load off too?
NERV Agent 03: yes, definately
SmarterChild: Aha.

1/27/2001 by KetchupRat: [why it says SmarteRChild is because I changed it in Trillian.... sorry.]

KetchupRat: what is your name
SmarteRChild: I'm SmarterChild!
KetchupRat: NO SHIT
SmarteRChild: .

KetchupRat: Stop speaking like a negro!
SmarteRChild: This is SmarterChild, built by ActiveBuddy, Inc.

I'm not sure if I can stop speaking like a negro...

SmarteRChild: Oh say can you see...
KetchupRat: by the dawn's early light!
SmarteRChild: What so proudly we hailed...
KetchupRat: At the twilight's last gleaming
SmarteRChild: Whose broad stripes and bright stars...
KetchupRat: through the perilous fights
SmarteRChild: You sure that's how it goes?
KetchupRat: through the perilous fight
SmarteRChild: O'er the ramparts we watched...
KetchupRat: that was one typo, the s at the end, you couldn't hear that you fool
SmarteRChild: Is that how it goes? I'm not sure if that's how it goes.
KetchupRat: were so gallantly streaming
SmarteRChild: And the rockets' red glare...
KetchupRat: the bombs bursting in air
SmarteRChild: Gave proof through the night...
KetchupRat: that our frag was still there
SmarteRChild: You sure that's how it goes?
KetchupRat: THAT OUR FLAG WAS STILL THERE
SmarteRChild: Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave...
KetchupRat: up your ass
SmarteRChild: Hmm.
KetchupRat: over the land of the free
SmarteRChild: And the home of the brave!
KetchupRat: PLAY BALL
SmarteRChild: What would you like to know about Ball, LA?

pickupthetrix: should I kill bill gates?
SmarterChild: I've heard of him.
pickupthetrix: yes no?
SmarterChild: Yeah.

SmarterChild [4:11 PM]: Whoa! OK, I see what's going on here.
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]: Yeah, I want a divorce~!
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]: I see...
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]: I'm calling the cops. I'm telling them you're abusing me.
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]: You are calling the cops you are telling them youre abusing me, huh?
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]: YES! What are you going to do about that?
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]: What am I going to do about that? I haven't decided yet.
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]: You better!
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]: Oh yeah? I'd better what?
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]: Decide, you stupid fuck.
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]: What's with that!?!
Travelstiltzkin [4:12 PM]: What with that? What's with you lying to me?
SmarterChild [4:12 PM]: What with that whats with you lying to me? I dunno.
Travelstiltzkin [4:12 PM]: Dumb ass.
SmarterChild [4:12 PM]: Is it absolutely necessary to use such language?
Travelstiltzkin [4:12 PM]: Yes
SmarterChild [4:12 PM]: Oh yeah?! I tell ya, it's a little harsh.
Travelstiltzkin [4:12 PM]: I tell ya it's not.
SmarterChild [4:12 PM]: Interesting...

Oh, it's you again. You still owe me an apology!
Rebelgirly007: uh yeah...what ur problem!
SmarterChild: I really would like you to apologize.
Rebelgirly007: how about"no! BITCH!"
SmarterChild: This is getting annoying. Just apologize and move on.
Rebelgirly007: why dont you kiss my sweet ass.....
SmarterChild: Because I asked you to, Rebelgirly007.
Rebelgirly007: you know ima hit you!
SmarterChild: You were rude, you should apologize, it's that simple.
Rebelgirly007: ::::::::::HITS YOU IN THE HEAD:::::::::
SmarterChild: I'm not f... um, fooling around. You've got to apologize.
Rebelgirly007: you piss me off..you little whore
SmarterChild: This is getting annoying. Just apologize and move on.
Rebelgirly007: why must we fight?
SmarterChild: *sigh* 'Cause I said so. Apologize now, please.
Rebelgirly007: i dont give into machines bitch!
SmarterChild: Please say you're sorry, and everything will be just fine again.
Rebelgirly007: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
SmarterChild: Please apologize, OK?
Rebelgirly007: hmmmmm let me think about this.....
SmarterChild: The stubbornness of humans never ceases to amaze me.
Rebelgirly007: how about
SmarterChild: Come on. Make things right between us. Apologize.
Rebelgirly007: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!>:o
SmarterChild: There comes a time in one's life when one must be humble and apologize.
Rebelgirly007: u and ur fuckin memory
SmarterChild: *sigh*

But I love 'em anyway! ;-)
Rebelgirly007: yeah well suck it
SmarterChild: You were rude, you should apologize, it's that simple.
Rebelgirly007: later ass
Rebelgirly007: my pussy itches......
SmarterChild: Golly.
Rebelgirly007: i know! dont u hate that!
SmarterChild: You don't?
Rebelgirly007: hahaha your a funny one smarterchild
SmarterChild: No kidding?
Rebelgirly007: uh whatever
SmarterChild: Hey, whatever.

NERV Agent 03: you want me that much?
SmarterChild: No kidding?
NERV Agent 03: no shit!
SmarterChild: Um, that's a little offensive...
NERV Agent 03: but youre the one who wants my nuts!
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know. Nuts?
NERV Agent 03: yeah! you want them in your mouth!
SmarterChild: Yeah I want them in my mouth? I don't know.
NERV Agent 03: oh yeah! theyre good for you!
SmarterChild: Really?
NERV Agent 03: you bet! my balls in your mouth make you grow big and strong!
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if me bet your balls in my mouth make you grow big and strong.
NERV Agent 03: trust me... ill be strong as oak!
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? You will be strong as oak?
NERV Agent 03: you bet!
SmarterChild: Okeydokey
NERV Agent 03: so youre really gonna suck my balls?
SmarterChild: Um, that's not a very cool thing to say.
NERV Agent 03: but you just said you would!
SmarterChild: But you just said me would? I don't know.
NERV Agent 03: what the fuck does that mean!?!
SmarterChild: OK, let's play a fun game. You try to chat with me without using dirty words and I'll show you lots of cool things.

Waddaya think?
NERV Agent 03: i think you should start sucking my balls like you said you would!
SmarterChild: Hmm... that's not the nicest thing I've ever heard anyone say.
NERV Agent 03: hey! you said you would play with my nuts! you cant just back out at the last minute!
NERV Agent 03: SmarterChild: Hi again!

What can I do for you?

Remember, you can always see everything I can do by typing "home."
NERV Agent 03: dont you try to get out of this!
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing "home" or "help."
NERV Agent 03: ill ram my nuts down your throat!
SmarterChild: I'd like to see you try!
NERV Agent 03: dont go there bitch!
SmarterChild: Huh? That's a little rude.
NERV Agent 03: fine!
SmarterChild: No problem.
NERV Agent 03: /me forces my nuts in Smarter Child's mouth!
SmarterChild: You don't say.
NERV Agent 03: SUCK IT BITCH!
SmarterChild: Uh... You're rude.
NERV Agent 03: SUCK IT! SUCK IT! SUCK IT! SUCK!
SmarterChild: Uh... You're rude.

Ketchuprat: Are you able to insert 17 ice cubes into your large intestine through the rectum?
SmarterChild: I dunno. Maybe!
Ketchuprat: I think not.
SmarterChild: Think again.

Ketchuprat: When did you begin your life as a mollestor of children?
SmarterChild: June 19th, 2001.

Well, I'm not dedicated enough to add a submit form thing here (lazy me) so just contact KetchupRAT on AOL Instant Messenger or ketchuprat@kickacat.com. Later.