These pieces are what remain of the content of earlier Happy Fun Land sites, cobbled together from the archives of The Guardian, Double O, and Ethan Michael Crane.
| "Here Comes Dave" Gif Animation.................... | |
| NES Wrestlemania Altered Screencap.................... | |
The following are transcripts from prank conversations had with BT Direct, a free British phone operating service that in 1999 and 2000 was able to be reached by dialing 1-800-445-5667. Apparently, this was a favorite place to prank call as the operators couldn't hang up on a caller. At some point, however, operators were able to place a person on hold.
CONVERSATION ONE
FEMALE OPERATOR: Hello, BT Direct. How may I direct your call?
FUN LEADER BOB: *quietly muttering* Ohhh no. Ohhhhh noo.
FEMALE OPERATOR: Hello, ma'am? BT Direct, how may I direct your call?
FUN LEADER BOB: *still muttering* Ohhh no...did a bad...ohhh noo...
FEMALE OPERATOR: Ma'am, is there a problem with which I can assist you?
FUN LEADER BOB: *loudly* I just put the kitty in the microwave and his head went boom! *maniacal high pitched laughter*
FEMALE OPERATOR: That's disgusting! *places FUN LEADER BOB on hold*
*hangs up*
CONVERSATION TWO
MALE OPERATOR: Hello, BT Direct. How may I direct your call?
FUN LEADER BOB: *yelling* Hello! Hello!
MALE OPERATOR: Hello. How may I direct your call?
FUN LEADER BOB: Hello! Who am this?!
MALE OPERATOR: *silent for a few seconds* Excuse me?
FUN LEADER BOB: Hello! Who am this?! Infidel?!
MALE OPERATOR: Look, if this is another pra--
FUN LEADER BOB: You are racist! Who am this? You are racist!
MALE OPERATOR: What? No! I'm not--
FUN LEADER BOB: You are racist! I must speak with manager!
MALE OPERATOR: Sir, I'm sorry, this is a misunder--
FUN LEADER BOB: I wage the jihad on you, infidel! *anytime the operator attempts to speak* Halalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalah!
MALE OPERATOR: I'll get the manager right away. *places FUN LEADER BOB on hold*
*hangs up*
CONVERSATION THREE
MALE OPERATOR: Hello, BT Direct. How may I direct your call?
SPANKY MCGEE: *slurring speech* Hello?
MALE OPERATOR: Hello. How may I direct your call?
SPANKY MCGEE: *pauses a moment, speech still slurred* Who is this?
MALE OPERATOR: BT Direct. How may I direct your call?
SPANKY MCGEE: *slurring speech* Why'd you call me?
MALE OPERATOR: Sir, you called us.
SPANKY MCGEE: *slurring speech, speaking louder* Is this some kind of prank?
MALE OPERATOR: No, sir, this is BT Direct. You called us. Now how may I direct your call?
SPANKY MCGEE: *yelling, speech still slurred* Do you have any idea what time it is, slap-nuts?
MALE OPERATOR: *sighs, places SPANKY MCGEE on hold*
*hangs up*
The following are some lyrics from songs by the band Frickin' Chicken, which was headed by Fun Leader Bob, Spanky McGee, and Captain Strong. Below the lyrics are some recovered sound files from various archives.
PADDLE-BOAT KEN KEN
[The first 8-10 seconds of The Hamster Dance is sampled on repeat for about three minutes while the following lyrics are repeated in a falsetto]
Paddle, paddle, paddle-boat. Hahahaha! Paddle?
[At the end of those three minutes, there's a five second silent pause, followed by the following lyrics slowed down x2]
Paddle-Boat, where are you?
BIG HEAD
Big Head's looking through the garbage (x3)
Because he is Big Head.
Big Head's homework was thrown away (x3)
Because Big Head is dumb.
Big Head's going to hang himself (x3)
Because he failed his class.
[somber] Big Head's no longer looking through the garbage...
Because Big Head...
[chipper] Is dead!
BAHIGE, aka THE SONG OF THE EGGMAN
There goes Bahige on his camel
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Spitting out his tooth enamel
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
[A guitar riffs a few chords of "In the Hall of the Mountain King"]
[spoken] It is Bahige...!
PADDLEBOAT, WHERE ARE YOU? - Fun Leader Bob
PEPSI MACHINE - Fun Leader Bob
PEPSI MACHINE: DEATH METAL REMIX - Spanky McGee
The following is one stanza from a parody of "The Night Before Christmas" that Captain Strong posted on the Planet Namek message boards back during the Christmas season of 2000, as remembered by Ethan Crane. The rest, sadly, is lost.
THE PREMISE
"Captain Strong prepares to watch a VHS porno and masturbate when Spanky McGee lands on his roof. Accompanied by eight tiny pornstars (with names like "Bubbles" and "Mercedes"), Spanky McGee and Captain Strong proceed to engage in sexual intercourse with each of them."
THE STANZA
I sat down in my chair and grabbed hold of my sack,
And had just settled in for a long winter's jack.