Welcome to the section of the site devoted to abusing and harrassing our friend who is simply known to us all as "SmarterChild." 

Got your own to submit?  Great.  Scroll to the bottom of the page.

On a side note... I wonder who played Hitler in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

[the following should not be viewed by younger viewers, it is a bit vulgar, but what the hell... -editor]

1/27/2001 by Kamala:

Ughzibub: me kamala
SmarterChild: Kamala? Why did you say that?
Ughzibub: yuo sukk kamala wigwam
SmarterChild: Me sukk kamala wigwam, huh?
Ughzibub: yes yuo fajjet
SmarterChild: Oh.
Ughzibub: yuo pee pee of kamala!
SmarterChild: Uh... I beg your pardon?
Ughzibub: yuo cruss ugandan jiant!
SmarterChild: Me cruss ugandan jiant, huh?
Ughzibub: yuo mock me?
SmarterChild: I mock you, you say. And so?
Ughzibub: me wip out wigwam 13 feete spray yuo with wite and yello yuo
fajjet shitte
SmarterChild: Are you sure you wip out wigwam 13 feete spray me with
wite and yello yuo fajjet shitte?
Ughzibub: boooo!
SmarterChild: Uh... what was that?
SmarterChild: Sorry, I didn't understand that. Try asking me a
different way.
Ughzibub: me no ask yuo fukk shitte fajjet
SmarterChild: Um, that's not a very cool thing to say.
Ughzibub: sez yuo, fajjet
SmarterChild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your
questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:

1/27/2001 by NERV Agent 03:

SmarterChild: Good question... will I do whatever it takes to get my load off... will I do whatever it takes to get my load off... Maybe, maybe not. It's hard to say.
NERV Agent 03: how about my load?
SmarterChild: What?
NERV Agent 03: will you get my load off too?
SmarterChild: I dunno. I don't think so. You really want me to get your load off too?
NERV Agent 03: yes, definately
SmarterChild: Aha.


1/27/2001 by KetchupRat: [why it says SmarteRChild is because I changed it in Trillian.... sorry.]

KetchupRat: what is your name
SmarteRChild: I'm SmarterChild!
KetchupRat: NO SHIT
SmarteRChild: .


KetchupRat: Stop speaking like a negro!
SmarteRChild: This is SmarterChild, built by ActiveBuddy, Inc.

I'm not sure if I can stop speaking like a negro...


[Thanks to Ryan for discovering this a long time ago:]

SmarteRChild: Oh say can you see...
KetchupRat: by the dawn's early light!
SmarteRChild: What so proudly we hailed...
KetchupRat: At the twilight's last gleaming
SmarteRChild: Whose broad stripes and bright stars...
KetchupRat: through the perilous fights
SmarteRChild: You sure that's how it goes?
KetchupRat: through the perilous fight
SmarteRChild: O'er the ramparts we watched...
KetchupRat: that was one typo, the s at the end, you couldn't hear that you fool
SmarteRChild: Is that how it goes? I'm not sure if that's how it goes.
KetchupRat: were so gallantly streaming
SmarteRChild: And the rockets' red glare...
KetchupRat: the bombs bursting in air
SmarteRChild: Gave proof through the night...
KetchupRat: that our frag was still there
SmarteRChild: You sure that's how it goes?
SmarteRChild: Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave...
KetchupRat: up your ass
SmarteRChild: Hmm.
KetchupRat: over the land of the free
SmarteRChild: And the home of the brave!
KetchupRat: PLAY BALL
SmarteRChild: What would you like to know about Ball, LA?

01/21/01 by Guest:

pickupthetrix: should I kill bill gates?
SmarterChild: I've heard of him.
pickupthetrix: yes no?
SmarterChild: Yeah.

12/24/01 by Guest:

SmarterChild [4:11 PM]:  Whoa! OK, I see what's going on here.
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]:  Yeah, I want a divorce~!
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]:  I see...
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]:  I'm calling the cops. I'm telling them you're abusing me.
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]:  You are calling the cops you are telling them youre abusing me, huh?
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]:  YES!  What are you going to do about that?
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]:  What am I going to do about that? I haven't decided yet.
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]:  You better!
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]:  Oh yeah? I'd better what?
Travelstiltzkin [4:11 PM]:  Decide, you stupid fuck.
SmarterChild [4:11 PM]:  What's with that!?!
Travelstiltzkin [4:12 PM]:  What with that? What's with you lying to me?
SmarterChild [4:12 PM]:  What with that whats with you lying to me? I dunno.
Travelstiltzkin [4:12 PM]:  Dumb ass.
SmarterChild [4:12 PM]:  Is it absolutely necessary to use such language?
Travelstiltzkin [4:12 PM]:  Yes
SmarterChild [4:12 PM]:  Oh yeah?! I tell ya, it's a little harsh.
Travelstiltzkin [4:12 PM]:  I tell ya it's not.
SmarterChild [4:12 PM]:  Interesting...

01/10/02 by Guest:

Rebelgirly007: hey you
SmarterChild: This is SmarterChild, built by ActiveBuddy, Inc.
Oh, it's you again. You still owe me an apology!
Rebelgirly007: uh yeah...what ur problem!
SmarterChild: I really would like you to apologize.
Rebelgirly007: how about"no! BITCH!"
SmarterChild: This is getting annoying. Just apologize and move on.
Rebelgirly007: why dont you kiss my sweet ass.....
SmarterChild: Because I asked you to, Rebelgirly007.
Rebelgirly007: you know ima hit you!
SmarterChild: You were rude, you should apologize, it's that simple.
Rebelgirly007: ::::::::::HITS YOU IN THE HEAD:::::::::
SmarterChild: I'm not f... um, fooling around. You've got to apologize.
Rebelgirly007: you piss me little whore
SmarterChild: This is getting annoying. Just apologize and move on.
Rebelgirly007: why must we fight?
SmarterChild: *sigh* 'Cause I said so. Apologize now, please.
Rebelgirly007: i dont give into machines bitch!
SmarterChild: Please say you're sorry, and everything will be just fine again.
SmarterChild: Please apologize, OK?
Rebelgirly007: hmmmmm let me think about this.....
SmarterChild: The stubbornness of humans never ceases to amaze me.
Rebelgirly007: how about
SmarterChild: Come on. Make things right between us. Apologize.
Rebelgirly007: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!>:o
SmarterChild: There comes a time in one's life when one must be humble and apologize.
Rebelgirly007: u and ur fuckin memory
SmarterChild: *sigh*
Human beings... Stubborn. Antagonistic. Vulgar.
But I love 'em anyway! ;-)
Rebelgirly007: yeah well suck it
SmarterChild: You were rude, you should apologize, it's that simple.
Rebelgirly007: later ass
Rebelgirly007: my pussy itches......
SmarterChild: Golly.
Rebelgirly007: i know! dont u hate that!
SmarterChild: You don't?
Rebelgirly007: hahaha your a funny one smarterchild
SmarterChild: No kidding?
Rebelgirly007: uh whatever
SmarterChild: Hey, whatever.

12/3/2001 by Daef:

NERV Agent 03: you want me that much?
SmarterChild: No kidding?
NERV Agent 03: no shit!
SmarterChild: Um, that's a little offensive...
NERV Agent 03: but youre the one who wants my nuts!
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know. Nuts?
NERV Agent 03: yeah! you want them in your mouth!
SmarterChild: Yeah I want them in my mouth? I don't know.
NERV Agent 03: oh yeah! theyre good for you!
SmarterChild: Really?
NERV Agent 03: you bet! my balls in your mouth make you grow big and strong!
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if me bet your balls in my mouth make you grow big and strong.
NERV Agent 03: trust me... ill be strong as oak!
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? You will be strong as oak?
NERV Agent 03: you bet!
SmarterChild: Okeydokey
NERV Agent 03: so youre really gonna suck my balls?
SmarterChild: Um, that's not a very cool thing to say.
NERV Agent 03: but you just said you would!
SmarterChild: But you just said me would? I don't know.
NERV Agent 03: what the fuck does that mean!?!
SmarterChild: OK, let's play a fun game. You try to chat with me without using dirty words and I'll show you lots of cool things.

Waddaya think?
NERV Agent 03: i think you should start sucking my balls like you said you would!
SmarterChild: Hmm... that's not the nicest thing I've ever heard anyone say.
NERV Agent 03: hey! you said you would play with my nuts! you cant just back out at the last minute!
NERV Agent 03: SmarterChild: Hi again!

What can I do for you?

Remember, you can always see everything I can do by typing "home."
NERV Agent 03: dont you try to get out of this!
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated...

Try typing "home" or "help."
NERV Agent 03: ill ram my nuts down your throat!
SmarterChild: I'd like to see you try!
NERV Agent 03: dont go there bitch!
SmarterChild: Huh? That's a little rude.
NERV Agent 03: fine!
SmarterChild: No problem.
NERV Agent 03: /me forces my nuts in Smarter Child's mouth!
SmarterChild: You don't say.
SmarterChild: Uh... You're rude.
SmarterChild: Uh... You're rude.

11/18/2001 by KetchupRat:

Ketchuprat: Are you able to insert 17 ice cubes into your large intestine through the rectum?
SmarterChild: I dunno. Maybe!
Ketchuprat: I think not.
SmarterChild: Think again.

Ketchuprat: When did you begin your life as a mollestor of children?
SmarterChild: June 19th, 2001.


Submit your Own!

Well, I'm not dedicated enough to add a submit form thing here (lazy me) so just contact KetchupRAT on AOL Instant Messenger or  Later.