by Happy Fun Land (Spanky McGee)

Civilian Name: Tom Acklin

Senshi/Villan Name: Sailor Crackhead

Birthday: April 20th

Home Planet: Third Crack Rock from the Sun

Current Residence: He lives in a drawer

Hobbies: Smoking weed, snorting crack, shooting heroine, chewing ecstacy

Likes:Illegal drugs

Dislikes: Legal narcotics

Strengths: Getting high, not knowing what the fuck is going on

Weaknesses: Withdrawel

Physical Description (detail!!!): He looks like he's been around the block a few times if you know what I mean. He also has an elongated skull like someone who was disfigured with foreceps at birth, and he's tall an skinny like he was just liberated from Dachau by the Allies

Personality: Years of drug use and sexual degeneracy have left him empty and cynnical

Goals/Dreams: To be "High Times" man of the year

Allies: Big Daddy Debo, L-E-Roy, Harry the Happy Herione Addict and his sidekick Sir Ringe, and anyone who can get him drugs

History(very important): His childhood was normal. It was when he reached age fifteen that things started to go downhill for him. He did poorly in school, and his brain was slowly dying. That was because of the ten pounds of LSD that he had just exposed himself to wound up in his system.

Is your character good, evil or neutral? Explain why: He's a hero to Sailor Moon fans everywhere because they're drug addicts too

Henshin Phrase (if any): "I'll suck dick for crack!"

Henshin Item: Crack rock

Physical Description (once transformed): He wears a dress and all the hair on his legs and scrotum are gone.


Weaknesses in battle: Drug deprivement

Any other interesting facts: His penis isa so small penis.

~Writing Sample~

Acklin went behind Wendy's to smoke a joint, and what a good joint it was. The school day had been long and hard and he hadn't had a decent joint for a week.

Suddenly, a familiar call came from across the street.

"Hey, you! What the hell are you doing?" the mad Kolbe screamed.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *whack* damn," was all Acklin could say as he ran from Kolbe.

It was a long and hard chase, but soon Acklin was in a place where he thought no one would ever see him transform (he was actually in a MacDonald's at lunchtime).

He pulled out his Crack Rock and screamed at the top of his lungs, "I'll suck dick for crack!"

With that, Acklin changed into Sailor Crackhead and found Kolbe, and they then got high together.

The End.