Sephiroth

Vs.

Sailor Callisto

AND

Sailor Jupiter

Wellington: Now that that's taken care of, our guest commentator, Mr. Andy Kaufman, should be here any minute.

*waits*

*waits longer*

*waits even longer*

Wellington: That's odd...I wonder where--

Tony Clifton: *walks up to the table* IIIIIIIII GOTTA BE MEEEEEEEEEE!!!! YEAH!

Wellington: Hello, Mr. Kaufman, I'd like to--

Tony Clifton: What da hell did youse just call me?

Wellington: Mr. Kauf--

Tony: Do I look like Andy Kaufman to you?

Wellington: Well I--

Tony: Do I?

Wellington: Well you--

Tony: Answer me!

Wellington: I'm try--

Tony: SHADDAP!!

Wellington: ...

Tony: Dat's betta! Now what's goin on here?

Wellington: Well there's--

Tony: Didn't I tell youse to shut yer trap?

Wellington: ...

Tony: Right. Now what's goin on here?

Wellington: ...

Tony: Answer me when I am speakin to youse!

Wellington: Well --

Tony: SHADDAP!!

Wellington: ...

*One-Winged Angel plays, Sephiroth comes out*

Tony: *singing* Dadadada ITALY dadadadadadadadadadada STUPID POLE

*Battle of the Holy plays, Ethan comes out*

Tony: Hey! You! You ready for a funeral or somethin'?! Put on a rainbow or somethin' ya fruit!

Ethan: Hey Tony, what do you and a Clydesdale have in common?

Tony: What?

Ethan: Absolutely nothing. *laughs sardonically*

Tony: What the...?! Hey! Dat was below da belt you little DiCaprio wannabe!!

*Jupiter's Theme plays (Author's Note: ???), Jupiter enters*

Tony: That's one tall bitch!!

Jupiter: Baka! *slap*

Tony: Heh heh...I'll see you later baby.

Wellington: May I please speak now?

Tony: Who the hell's stoppin' ya, moron?

Wellington: ...Yes, well here comes the final participant, Sailor--

Tony: Sailor Satan!

Wellington: No, Sailor Callisto.

Tony: Did you just correct me?

Wellington: I was only--

Tony: SHADDAP!!!

Wellington: ...

*Canadian National Anthem plays, Callisto comes out*

Tony: *singing* Oh CANADA!! WE LIKE TO SUCK HAIRY PENISES!!! OH CANADAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Mills Lane: Okay, I want this to be a good clean fight. Shake hands and come out killing.

*bell rings*

Tony: Goth boy has just tagged that tall guy wit da sword! Callisto's in the ring, tall guy pulls his sword, and OH GOD she's just been cut in half! He's going for dat tall bitch who wants me in bed, and she's dead now too!

Wellington: Ethan and Sephiroth have won in less than 30 seconds!! This is--

Tony: SHADDAP!!!

Your Winners:

ETHAN CRANE AND SEPHIROTH!!!

You are now listening to Solid Snake from Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake.