James

Vs.

Sailor Chibi Moon

AND

Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon

Ethan: Double O, do you have any thoughts on the upcoming tag-team match?

Double O: Well, at first it seems that Chibi and Chibi Chibi have the upper hand since Cobra Commander is a coward and James is a complete and utter moron.

Ethan: So you think Chibi and Chibi Chibi will win?

Double O: I never said that! I said they have the upper hand. I always root for the underdog!

Ethan: You're going to help them in some way, aren't you?

Double O: Doo doo doo doo doo ^_^

Ethan: Oh Christ...

Jesus McChrist: I heard that!

Double O: Hey man, what's up?

Jesus McChrist: Yo homes, I got yo ten bucks back at my pad. Yo, my Dad's been on my ass for bettin' again.

Paul Prokop: Ah, son, get your ass back here! You're still grounded! No miracles for a week.

*Jesus McChrist looks up at the sky*

Paul Prokop: Stop lookin' at me like I'm a fuckin' idiot, huh?

Double O: Bye Bye, Jebus!

Jesus McChrist: *mumbles* Fuck you, cracka. *ascends*

*Sesame Street theme plays, Chibis enter*

Ethan: My God...all that pink hurts my eyes...

*Double O closes his eyes and prays*

Ethan: Praying that God shows no mercy on their souls again?

Double O: No, I'm just praying that God destroys the color pink...something I'm sure everyone would appreciate.

*G.I. Joe theme plays, Cobra Commander and James enter*

Ethan: Huh. There seems to be no ref.

Double O: *points* What about that man in the crowd?

Ethan: You mean that...that thing? It's decaying like a corpse, and yet it's alive...I think...

Double O: He's a friend I know from another universe.

Ethan: What do you call that decaying mound of...flesh...I guess...?

Creature: *In a high, shrill voice* T-VIRUS!!

*The ears of the people in the crowd start to bleed, Ethan is experiencing the beginning stages of blood lust*

Ethan: *mumbles* The blood is the life...the blood is the life...

*T-Virus jumps into the ring and his leg falls off. He rings the bell and--*

Double O: The match has begun! James and Chibi Chibi will start things off for us.

Chibi Chibi: CHIBI! CHIBI CHIBI!

James: Woah! A new Pokemon! Wheezing, GO!

Wheezing: WHEE-ZING!

Double O: James appears to think that Chibi Chibi is a Pokemon!

Ethan: You were right, he is a complete and utter moron.

James: SMOG ATTACK!

*Wheezing smiles, fires toxic fumes and Chibi Chibi faints*

Chibi Chibi: Chi-bi...

James: Pokeball, GO!

*Pokeball opens, captures Chibi-Chibi, shakes, and then locks.*

Double O: Well I'll be damned!

Jesus McChrist: Don't tempt me, motha fu--

Paul Prokop: GET BACK HERE! YOU'RE GROUNDED!

Jesus McChrist: But dad, I--

Paul Prokop: No.

Jesus McChrist: Why?

Paul Prokop: 'Cause you're wrong, and you're a pinhead. Now get your ass back up to heaven.

Double O: Have a nice day, Jebus!

Jesus McChrist: *mumbles* motha fuckin' white piece of... *ascends*

Ethan: It looks like Chibi and Cobra Commander are up next...

Chibi: In the name of the Moon, I WILL PUNISH YOOOOOUUUUU!

Cobra Commander: A girl? What is this, some kind of sick twisted joke? Very well, give me your best shot! I'll let you go first!

Chibi: PIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNKKKKK SUUUUUUUGGGAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTTTTTTTT ATTTTTTTTAAAAAAAA--

Cobra Commander: To hell with this! *pulls out a gun, fires*

Chibi: --AAAACK! *Chibi slumps over with a hole in her chest*

Double O: He pulled a gun on an unarmed girl!

Ethan: Well, annoyance factor is considered to be a weapon in some states...

*T-Virus lifts Cobra Commander's arm in victory, Cobra Commander starts to stagger*

Ethan: What the hell is going on?!

Double O: Oh my God! Cobra Commander is being infected with the T-Virus!

Cobra Commander: I was once a man! A maaaaaaaan! *Cobra Commander transforms into a snake and slithers away*

Random Fan: Who saw THAT one coming?

James: Oh my! Another Pokemon! *throws pokebal at T-Virus* Victreebell, GO!

Victreebell: BLAAAAAAAH! *attempts to swallowed James's head*

Ethan: You're right. He is a complete and utter moron.

Your Winners:

JAMES AND COBRA COMMANDER!!!