Double O: Wellington's dead, remember?
Ethan: Oh yeah...well, then I guess with me as always is Double O!
Double O: WHAAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Ethan: Today, we have our special poll match! You, the ASMDA viewers, chose these two interesting contenders to fight Chibi and Chibi Chibi:
Sailor Chibi Moon
Sailor Chibi Chibi MoonEthan: Double O, do you have any thoughts on the upcoming tag-team match?
Double O: Well, at first it seems that Chibi and Chibi Chibi have the upper hand since Cobra Commander is a coward and James is a complete and utter moron.
Ethan: So you think Chibi and Chibi Chibi will win?
Double O: I never said that! I said they have the upper hand. I always root for the underdog!
Ethan: You're going to help them in some way, aren't you?
Double O: Doo doo doo doo doo ^_^
Ethan: Oh Christ...
Jesus McChrist: I heard that!
Double O: Hey man, what's up?
Jesus McChrist: Yo homes, I got yo ten bucks back at my pad. Yo, my Dad's been on my ass for bettin' again.
Paul Prokop: Ah, son, get your ass back here! You're still grounded! No miracles for a week.
*Jesus McChrist looks up at the sky*
Paul Prokop: Stop lookin' at me like I'm a fuckin' idiot, huh?
Double O: Bye Bye, Jebus!
Jesus McChrist: *mumbles* Fuck you, cracka. *ascends*
*Sesame Street theme plays, Chibis enter*
Ethan: My God...all that pink hurts my eyes...
*Double O closes his eyes and prays*
Ethan: Praying that God shows no mercy on their souls again?
Double O: No, I'm just praying that God destroys the color pink...something I'm sure everyone would appreciate.
*G.I. Joe theme plays, Cobra Commander and James enter*
Ethan: Huh. There seems to be no ref.
Double O: *points* What about that man in the crowd?
Ethan: You mean that...that thing? It's decaying like a corpse, and yet it's alive...I think...
Double O: He's a friend I know from another universe.
Ethan: What do you call that decaying mound of...flesh...I guess...?
Creature: *In a high, shrill voice* T-VIRUS!!
*The ears of the people in the crowd start to bleed, Ethan is experiencing the beginning stages of blood lust*
Ethan: *mumbles* The blood is the life...the blood is the life...
*T-Virus jumps into the ring and his leg falls off. He rings the bell and--*
Double O: The match has begun! James and Chibi Chibi will start things off for us.
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI! CHIBI CHIBI!
James: Woah! A new Pokemon! Wheezing, GO!
Double O: James appears to think that Chibi Chibi is a Pokemon!
Ethan: You were right, he is a complete and utter moron.
James: SMOG ATTACK!
*Wheezing smiles, fires toxic fumes and Chibi Chibi faints*
Chibi Chibi: Chi-bi...
James: Pokeball, GO!
*Pokeball opens, captures Chibi-Chibi, shakes, and then locks.*
Double O: Well I'll be damned!
Jesus McChrist: Don't tempt me, motha fu--
Paul Prokop: GET BACK HERE! YOU'RE GROUNDED!
Jesus McChrist: But dad, I--
Paul Prokop: No.
Jesus McChrist: Why?
Paul Prokop: 'Cause you're wrong, and you're a pinhead. Now get your ass back up to heaven.
Double O: Have a nice day, Jebus!
Jesus McChrist: *mumbles* motha fuckin' white piece of... *ascends*
Ethan: It looks like Chibi and Cobra Commander are up next...
Chibi: In the name of the Moon, I WILL PUNISH YOOOOOUUUUU!
Cobra Commander: A girl? What is this, some kind of sick twisted joke? Very well, give me your best shot! I'll let you go first!
Chibi: PIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNKKKKK SUUUUUUUGGGAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR HEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRRRRRTTTTTTTT ATTTTTTTTAAAAAAAA--
Cobra Commander: To hell with this! *pulls out a gun, fires*
Chibi: --AAAACK! *Chibi slumps over with a hole in her chest*
Double O: He pulled a gun on an unarmed girl!
Ethan: Well, annoyance factor is considered to be a weapon in some states...
*T-Virus lifts Cobra Commander's arm in victory, Cobra Commander starts to stagger*
Ethan: What the hell is going on?!
Double O: Oh my God! Cobra Commander is being infected with the T-Virus!
Cobra Commander: I was once a man! A maaaaaaaan! *Cobra Commander transforms into a snake and slithers away*
Random Fan: Who saw THAT one coming?
James: Oh my! Another Pokemon! *throws pokebal at T-Virus* Victreebell, GO!
Victreebell: BLAAAAAAAH! *attempts to swallowed James's head*
Ethan: You're right. He is a complete and utter moron.
JAMES AND COBRA COMMANDER!!!