Power Player FAQ

1. What is a "Power Player?"

The Power Player is a little invention I was introduced to not too long ago at a local technology convention. It is, literally, possibly the greatest invention ever and can be found on the internet in various forms.

2. But what the fuck is it?

I'll tell you what the fuck it is. Quite simply, the Power Player is a video game system. But it is not just any video game system, mind you. Priced at about $40, this system is comprised of a controller holding about 76 games, a second controller allowing for two-player fun, a couple of cords to hook it up to your TV or VCR, a power-cable to plug into any outlet, and a light gun in the tradition of the old NES. That's it. There are no bulky consoles to lug around or worry about damaging, no cartridges to lose or take up space, and no complex hook-ups. It's that simple.

3. What kind of games do you get with it?

For only about $40 you get 76 classic Nintendo games, including the original Contra, Super Mario Brothers, Donkey Kong Jr., Defender, and Hogan's Alley as well as...interesting versions of Aladdin, Toy Story, and many, many others. It's quite a bargain, actually, as it holds both classic games and new games using classic game engines.

4. Isn't that, like, pirating?

Probably. But for $40, who the hell cares?

5. Even so, what the hell would I want with a pirate system?

Well, like I said, you get 76 classic Nintendo games for a little less than the price of a Playstation 2 game. Keep in mind that most of these games have yet to be re-released in anthologies (and some are so old and out-dated that they probably never will), so right now this is the only way to play some vintage games outside of dragging out the old system or, in a worse scenario, finding someone who will fix the damn thing.

6. Give me a better reason to fork out $40 for this thing or I'll kill you.

Woah, easy there Captain Quick. I have a few other good reasons to buy this contraption. Let's say you have a kid who likes to play video games, but...well, sucks at them. What better way to build up their skills than introducing them to the classics you probably played as a kid yourself? Because these games are old, they are very simple to play and learn, while still being fun enough to keep someone's interest. Therefore, they offer somewhat of an introductory course in gaming.

Also, if you happen to be a classic gamer who has grown bitter at the fact that the world has gone 3D, this system is for you. Relive your glory days and work for the 2D revival with this system that sticks it to the man.

7. But what about Konami and Nintendo? Won't they be pissed at me?

I will answer this with the question, "who cares?" I've got some news for you...they don't care about you. The only thing they care about are the presidents who live in your wallet and nothing more. If they truly cared about their fans, they would have released these games in anthologies long long ago...but they didn't. In fact, in the case of Konami, they're the dickheads who fucked up the Contra series in the first place, but instead of trying to make up for it by making an anthology with possibly remixed music and enhanced graphics, they seek to make us pay by deeming the series as "dead." They obviously don't care about what their fans want or how they want it, so why should we care? Why not reward an inventor or group of inventors who took the initiative and made these games convenient for us all to play?

Now, don't get me wrong...there are still some companies out there who still listen to their fans (such as Capcom, Williams, Midway, and Atari). But the fact of the matter is that these companies are few and far between. These companies are the minority and that is why I will buy whatever anthologies or games they come out with, even if those games happen to be on this system (such is the case with Defender and Joust, which appear both on my William's Arcade's Greatest Hits Collection for the Sony Playstation and this wonderful little system). I will continue to offer these companies my support because they have supported me. The other companies, however, can blow me. You, too, can tell them they can blow you by buying this system.

8. This sounds an awful lot like a commercial...is that what this is? Somekind of crazy ad?

Nope. Not at all. While it is true that I have some bias towards this system (I am, after all, a big fan of 2D classic games), I am just seeking to make you, the public, more informed...even if that means exposing companies like Konami for what they really are: fat, greedy pricks.

9. Why do you hate Konami so much?

I don't hate the company, really. I just think they made some really stupid mistakes and need to own up to them, but that's a whole other story/FAQ.

10. Well, I'm sold. Just tell me where I need to go.

I'm glad I could be of service in some way, shape, or form. Here are some places you can go to pick up this wonderful system (or updated versions of said system):

www.ebay.com

www.electronickits.com

www.100deals.com

Other places can be found at Dogpile (www.dogpile.com). Keep in mind, though, that there are several other versions of Power Player as well, such as an updated arcade version (with about 128 games but bigger, bulkier controllers) and a GameBoy version with about 168 classic GameBoy games as well. So stick it to the man...buy the system already!

You are now listening to Beginning from Castlevania 3: Dracula's Curse.