Free to use on any ASM Site
WHAT IF SOS AND MOONIE RULED THE EARTH???
By Aaron Lockwood and slightly modified by Lion Jeter. This was not meant to be offensive to Moonies, but to simply be a joke.
If the SOS and Moonies ruled the World...
US Cable Television would be forced to add a Sailor Moon Channel
which plays Sailor
Moon cartoons 24/7..."Must See Sleazy"
The laws would be based on "Sailor Moon Says..."
The McDonald's golden arch would be replaced with a golden tiara.
Insulting the sailor scouts is a violation of federal law.
The White House would be changed into the palace of the Moon
Instead of guns, the police would be armed with the paper that
Sailor Mars throws out and yet criminals don't seem to realize its just a piece of paper.
Having blue hair is a new fashion look.
The ISM is considered a mafia.
Anti Sailor Moon webpages would be illegal under penalty of catapult...(hey, watch The Simpsons)
Firefighters would use mercury bubbles in order to put out fires.
The cats have small moons on their forehead.
Instead of uniforms, the police are dressed up in tuxedos while
female officers are dressed like the sailor scouts. They are laughed out of night clubs and taunted by passing 2nd graders.
You will be punished on behalf of the moon if you commit a crime.
The NRA(National Rifle Assoc.) is replaced with the NTA(National
Cats would be able to talk in public.
-Warp to the Future-
And, once again, here is your elected ruler of...*choke*...the known universe, Serena!
*slowly and softly*
...hhiiiiii frriieennddsss, what's happening in 'da hooooodddddd...*soft laugh*...I just wannttt you all to know that I loovvveee yoooouu...
>>Audience member : Wait a minute! She's stoned! LET'S GET HER!
>Doctor : *runs up and examines* Hey...she's not stoned! She's just stupid!
Audience : *in unison* Ooooohhhhhh!
>>Audience member : Ahhh, she's just stupid...LET'S GET HER!
*a riot breaks out, pissed off audience members trashing everything in sight and beating up Serena*
To be continued...(?)
Here's something different...what if ANTIs ruled the world? This is going to be fun!
WHAT IF ANTIs RULED THE WORLD???
By Dave the Assassin. This was not meant to be offensive to Moonies,or anti,but to simply be a joke.
after the beating down of Serena, the anti Lion Jeter (Jeter, you are going to like this part) took her place as the ruler of the world, and yes, Lona, Aaron, and I would be his assistants
watching Sailor Moon would be outlawed(oooooh yeah)
SOS would be thought of as evil and be called a cult that worhips the show and you hear about busted SOS members all most every day (he he) on the news
Anti anti campaigns would be like a mortal threat to the world to get moonieism back into the world (that ain't going to happen).
A lot of moonies would go into hiding just because they think they are going to die for what they did. Most likely they won't. Noting would happen, but (ha!) who's going to tell them?
All of the Sailor Scouts would be submitted and accepted to a mental ward. They would sit in their little rubber rooms, jumping around and saying it hurts.
Lusephur1, our most dreaded enemy (who can't do anything) would
be hunted down, tied to a chair for all to see (he'd be squirming like a worm), while all insult him for e-mail bombing them.
Warp to the futurE
Jeter, Lona, Aaron, and I walk up to a potium.
Jeter: What up my great people! Now you know the danger of Sailor Moon, and will live a long and good life for knowing that without the dreaded slut around to make everyone's life a living hell, we can survive.
Dave: That's right, Jeter. Our councils now know that Sailor Moon the show caused brain deaths.
Lona: That is true. Many ANTIs who saw episodes killed themselves for what they think they did wrong.
Aaron: And so that is why we make this monument for them.
>>Audience cheers their names.
They all make coffee to show their appreciation.
Jeter: And to show how much we don't hate moonies, we released them all accept the criminal ones...And yes, even Serena has been released.
Serena (running in, yelling): YoU rUiNeD mE!!! aLl FoUr Of YoU!! yOu AlL rUiNeD mE!!!
Dave: You were making Earth a living HELL!!!
>>Audience yells and beats up Serena again and the cops take her away.
You are now listening to Brinstar from Super Metroid.