Holiday Double Feature MSTed by Tim McLees Batman vs the Sailor Scouts Original by Bane Sailor Moon meets St Nick Original by Dr Thinker (Nighttime on the SOL Bridge: Stockings are strung up on the sides and tinsel is all about. Kiyone comes in from the right in a long flannel nightgown and some cookies. The Mads light begins to flash) Kiyone (with a cookie in her mouth):Mrph? (she fumbles with her spare hand at the panel, but eventually switches it to...) (Deep 13: In the background are Dr Forrester & Frank, all bandaged up and in hospital beds. In front of them is B-Ko in a lab coat, carrying a clipboard.) B-Ko: Ah, you're awake, super. I have briefly appointed myself in charge of this lab, due to Clayton's...ailment (Dr F mumbles through bandages). I see that he's given you a little project, lets see the results. (SOL) Kiyone: But it's 1 in the flippin' morning! (Mike & the bots stagger in from the right) Tom (Yawns): Kiyone, coulda keep it down...(notices the screen) Say! Crow: Who's the new girl? Mike: Ah, what seems to be the problem?(he snags a couple cookies off of Kiyone's plate, much to her dismay) (D13) B-Ko: I'm handling affairs for the time being, Michael (Frank & Clayton move about in their beds.) Seems you have an "invention" planned. Can't be *too* impressive. (SOL, Mike is dressed in street urchin clothing, Crow has a plastic chest plate and a blonde wig, while Tom's in a military outfit, Kiyone remains in her pajamas) Kiyone (notices her friends): Gah! How'd you do that! Tom: Trade secret. Anywho, B-Ko-chan, we've been inspired by the utterly wrong idea of Anastasia: the animated musical comedy and decided to brainstorm over the newest history based cartoon. Crow (Valley Dude, bellowing): Alas, my chick is dead! Tis not cool! Tis bogus! Mike: Not bad, Leonardo, but that's butchered *Shakespeare* not butchered history. Crow: Darn. Tom: So we've come up with this: Disney's Anne Frank! Kiyone (shocked): Oh puke! That's twisted! Mike: Hey, it coulda been Pocahantas, I mean, Buckskin Barbie. We'd have to lighten up this tragic chase for freedom with a twist of star-crossed romance with "Erik- The senstive Berlin street urchin" as well as the antics of Fritz (Mike holds up a stuffed doberman pup), the token inane, merchandisable sidekick. Tom: Throw in a show stopping song & dance number from Brommel and you've got a liscensing jackpot! Kiyone (pondering): Well...at least it's not Home Alone 3, what do ya think, ma'am? (D13) B-Ko: You call that an invention!?! I see that the good doctor has been lax with his standards. To discipline you, I'm sending you a double dosage of pain from Forrester's files: A Sailor Moon anti-fic featuring Batman, and a Sailor Moon holiday special from Dr Thinker. (B-Ko giggles softly, then bursts into evil bitch laughter) (SOL, Mike, Kiyone, & the Bots stare out at B-Ko's hysteria) Tom: She's getting a hair to much into the "mad scientist" motiff. (Sirens, Lights, and Chaos insue) Mike: No time for that. WE'VE GOT FAN-FIC SIGN!!! Crow: Wheeeeee! (Crashes into Kiyone, scattering what left of her plate.) Kiyone: Akkk! (Entrence sequence 6,5,4,3,2,1) >Batman v.s. the Sailor Scouts >I't was a dark night in Gothum city airport. Tom: It was a dark, & stormy night... Kiyone (sighs): Out of the gate & Bane couldn't even get the first sentence right! >A plain lands. Crow: I tap it. Give myself Protection from Cheese... Mike: It's not working. Crow: Damn! > In it contains four Japenese school girls. Under normal >conditions this would be no big deal,but these girls where the Sailor Scouts. >They had an evil agenda. Crow: They were going to see Hanson. Mike: Marilyn Hanson? All (except Kiyone, singing): M-bop, Satan, I M-Bop Satan... Kiyone: Oy vey. >Later in the Batcave Bruce Wayne was at the Batcomputer Tom: How fitting. > playing Drakes shoot >Sailor Moon game. Mike: Oh, leave the ducks out of this, please. > It was a slow night so far. Wayne thought he might finaly >have a night to rest. Crow: Then, his agent called, booked him into a crappy fic... > Then Alfred came down. Well master Bruce the sighnal >is out. Im on my way. Tom: Eh? Mike: I'm Bruce, too. How am I? Kiyone: So *that's* were he got the apostrophe for "I't" from. Crow (Friendly Announcer): Remember kids, proofreading is our friend! >As Wayne went in to put his cape and mask on he stoped being Bruce Wayne. Tom (sarcastic): Really? > He was now the Batman. Crow (also sarcastic): No kidding? > In the Batmobile he drove to his usual meeting with >Comissioner Gordon. Batman we have a major problem. Kiyone (Gordon): I still haven't finished my shopping! Mike (Gorden): And Toys R Us is all out of them Wheelchair Barbie dolls. Tom (Announcer): Quotation marks are your friends, too! > Gordon hands Batman a file. Do you know what these are. Yes Gordon these are Crow (Batman): "Barely Legal Coeds"...What!?! > the pre made letters that members of the >infamous terrorist group Save Our Sailors use to harrass television >networks. Kiyone: Umm...who's speaking? Tom: No idea. > Yes Batman if you would also notice that four Gothum television >stations have been getting these. Well Gordon writing letters is not >illiegal. Mike (Batman):Incoherent prose & spelling, however. Crow (Gordon): Are you kidding? People start sending around their opinions, who knows where that could lead! >That is not why I called Batman. Because they did not respound the >Sailor scouts are attacking those four television stations Batman leaves >while Gordan is still talking Crow (Announcer): Periods are also-- Kiyone (Holds Crow): We get the idea! Tom: So, the senshi are going to attack innocent bystanders? OK, sure... Mike: Keep in mind, Bane detests cute anime girls in short skirts. Crow: Abominal thing to strike out against, SURE. >At the Chanel seven the Scout known as Sailor Mercurey had the television >executive hostage where she was forcing him to put the show on. Kiyone (April O' Neil): Otaku are shocked to see their favorite characters reduced to generic villians. > Millions of >people are depending on our show. It brings joy and happiness to everybody. Crow: And little skirts. >The tv executive however had different numbers. Look Sailor Mercurey Only a >few thousand. people like the show. Tom: Guest appearance by William Shatner. Crow (Shatner): Look Sailor...Mercury only...a few... > That is not enough to make the show >worth it to advertise. You lie Sailor Moon brings joy to the world. You mean >addiction. Kiyone (stands up): Who the hell's speaking!?! Mike: Yeah, if you're going to debate the nature of SM fandom, learn some basic dialoge. I mean *come on!* > The Dark Knight had appeared out of no where. Batman you can't >stop us because where bright and cheery and your dark and scarey. Tom (British): Your brain is tuned to EVIL! Everyone begins humming the Nightman theme. > In the >name of the Planet Mercurey I will punish you with my bubbles. Now Sailor >Mercurey shoots here bubbles. Crow: Where bubbles? Mike: Admittedly, that *is* a pretty weak attack. > He will never see me now. Little id Tom: Sidekick of superego Kiyone (turns to Tom): Now that was just bad. > she know >that Batman had brought his night vision goggles. Mike (Batman): Have to pull 'em outta my butt. Excuse me one moment... >He could easily see her as >he delivered a well place right hook that Subdued Sailor Mercurey. Tom (groans) Not again... Kiyone: That's a good way to critique Sailor Moon, have someone come in & beat the snot out of them! Crow: Mike, do all these ISM guys have an issue against women? Mike: Apparently so. > As the >bubbles cleared Sailor Mercurey was gift wrapped for deportation. Kiyone (laughing weakly): Heh, heh, abuse toward women is fun. >At chanell 22 Sailor Mars was threatening to torch the place when the Batman >showed up. Tom: That was fast! Crow: I am the Wizard of Speed and Time! > So it is you Batman . I sailor Mars will stun you with this. Mike: Ummm, *fireballs*, Raye. You know, big area-effect... Kiyone (announcer): Fireballs, cheese weapon of Street Fighters (tm) everywhere! >Sailor Mars was shocked when the Batman was not stunned. Look Mars it takes >more than post it notes to stop me. Tom: ...Fiery explosion and carnage... > Then see how you handle Mars fire >Attack. Crow: FINALLY! Mike: Bane's writing the Scouts *slightly* dumber than Batman himself. > As she used that Batman dodged her flames Kiyone: He dodged the area-effect attack. Impressive. > shocked by the Batmans >parrying ability Tom: No, wait, he parried it. (Thinks a moment) WHAT!?! Mike: A dictionary would be a good investment, Bane. > she decided to use her fighting skills. However Batman >nailed her with a round house kick that left Mars knocked out. All: "BOOF!" Crow: Batman's been taking self-defense courses from the Masked Riders, apparently. >At channel twelve Kiyone (Batman): I *AM* the wind. ZOOM!!! > Sailor Jupitor now was doing damage to station equipment >with her lightning attacks. You will comply and put our show on. If you >don't I will wipe out all your equipment and beat up your kids. Tom (Matt Frewer, maniacal): I'M FEELING OMNIPOTENT!!! Mike: Tom, don't *ever* do a "Generation-X" movie reference again. > And the I will make you eat my Muffins. Crow (Dynablue):Her butt looks like a muffin! All (Dynamen): A MUFFIN! > As Sailor Jupitor was talking Batman snuck up >and tied her up with the batarang rope combination. That was to easy said >the Batman Kiyone: Check it out, guys! He used "said"! Mike & Bots (applauding): YEEEEAAAA! Tom: Yes, Bane *can* be taught. >At chanell four Crow (Batman): Perhaps, I should call *Robin*, *Nightwing*, or some of the *other* heroes...Nah, why should they suffer in this fic. > Sailor Moon was crying please put my show on. If you Dont I >will cry. Then Sailor Moon did just that. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Mike (dull): How fresh & innovative. >Just at that moment Batman appeared. Batman in the name of the moon I will >punish you. Tom: Into the spanking machine with you! >Sailor Moon then used her head band attack. Batman just caught >it and crushed it. Kiyone: He *grabbed* the Destructo Disc? Crow: Wrong show. Kiyone (shrugs): Similar energy blast, cutesy name. >Sailor Moon than ran and cried. Bat Man went on the >chase. Sailor Moon got away. How did he stop my tiara. Where are my friends. >Why we lost . But at least I got away. Then a dark shadow appears. Tom: If Batman even thinks about pummeling her, I'm leaving! > Oh no how >did you find me Batman? Please don't kill me Waaaaaaaaaaaah. Mike: I've never actually seen someone beat a dead horse, but this is close. > Im not going to >kill you. I made that vow long ago. Crow: But he *will* pummel teenaged girls. That's in character! > We will deport you back to Tokyo. Then >the Gothum city police deported the Sailor scouts back to Tokyo. The End Kiyone: Finally! Tom: Well, we survived the first round, let's get outta here. (Mike, Kiyone, & the Bots leave. Exit sequence 6,5,4,3,2,1) (SOL, A series of charts and diagrams are scattered behind Tom & Crow, Kiyone and Mike wander in) Kiyone: So what is this big deal over this series, anyway? If you don't like a show, wouldn't it be easier just to not watch it? Tom: Well, many consider the popularity of Sailor Moon a grand crusade, either to expand or oppose. Mike, if ya will? Mike: Sure (Turns over the first cover on the diagram, revealing a Sailor Moon poster) Crow: Sailor Moon: initially targeted toward young Japanese girls is one of the leading anime throughout all demographics primarily due to the use of cute anime girls in really short skirts. This phenomenon has produced a huge following of obsessed otaku. (Mike flips over the diagram, displaying Bane from Batman & Robin) Tom: Through American standards, these characters are considered sexist and demeaning. To some individuals, like Mr Bane here see these Western views as the ideal moral standards for the world. Thus, he and others in this "ISM" group protest against the series. Next picture, please. Kiyone: You guys have *way* too much free time. (The next picture displays the various finishing moves of the Sailor Scouts) Crow: Dispite the cute costumes, and irritatingly trite catch phrases, one thing must be confessed: their methods work. Much like the odd use of powers in the "Superfriends" show, seemingly useless attacks like Tiara Magic and even the Bubble Blast still prove effective. Another aspect is experience. These girls have been fighting demons, great and small, for years. A villian like, oh, Dr Doom, has difficulty against Mephisto, a intermediate demon at best. Tom: While there are many deplorable aspects of the series, the ISM never clearly focuses on actual criticism. Instead, they seem interested in showing how characters, which they are equally obseesed over, can pummel five teenaged girls. Remember, a clear debate is built on being able to express ideas in a understandable manner. Mike: Dispite this great debate, I have a feeling, these factions can agree on one thing: Tom & Crow:Hmmm? Whazzat! Mike: That pink-haired creampuff Rini needs a swift boot to the head. Kiyone: Damn straight! Crow: Amen to that! Tom: Pink. Ack! (Light begins flashing) Back into the trench, guys! Crow: Christmas Sign! Kiyone & Mike: Yahoooo... >STARTING NOTE: This is idea from my own mind. Mike: EXOTIC LOCATIONS! Kiyone snickers > It's takes and >makes Saban-like changes to DIC's Sailor Moon. (Please, put down >the katana.) Tom: Saban-syle changes to *DIC's* Sailor Moon? Crow: This is going to hurt, isn't it? > No long are the Sailor Seshi are fighting for love >and justice..in Japan..but right in the USA. Eros, Ohio. Each >Scouts have a last name. Kiyone: Apparently last names distinct to America. Huh. > So they know my Christmas Man...you >know..id Crow: Superego's sidekick? > (1) if you are between the ages of 2-19, (2) been to a >lot of place between Nov. 24, and Dec. 25, and (3) know about a >fictional chacter in red suit who uses flying sheild Mike & Bots:A flying shield? Tom: Steve Rogers *is* Santa Claus *in* "Santa's Return" > to give >gifts to the boys and girls of the world. The Sailor Scouts find >magic earmuffs with note from Princess Diana's mother's Queen >Serenity, right after (4) Beryl has been defeat..and the Sailor >Scouts have memories of that. (5) We are in early December. Kiyone: Will this be on the quiz? > (6) >Driod Snowman is not a driod from the series. In the series, a >needish purple monster uses needles try to stop Venus. Crow (caveman): Fall down go boom. > In this >one, it's a snowball fight with a MC Kiyone: MC Lyte? Mike: MC Hammer? Tom: Pimp Master Smooth? All (Looking toward Tom):What!?! Tom: I really don't know. > is the driod in the >disguese, they need a trick while Starfire get energy for a new >statue. >WARNING TO LAWYERS: This is story with names from DIC's Sailor >Moon, which are copyright by them. >WARNING TO ST. NICK: I not joking to you. Crow(Dr Thinker): Please do not cut me in half! > This is just a story. I >think you are magicial human. Tom (Rock-style singing): Mo' human than hu-man! >----------------------------------------------------------------- >Sailor Moon meets Father Christmas >---------------------------------------------------------------- (Contest Judges Platform) Emarald: Not again, Driod Snowman take of her. Crow (Snowman): Take off her what? Kiyone: Ummm, *NO*. Crow gulps >Driod Snowman: (Changing from man in a male) As you wish, my Lady > Emarald. Tom (Singing):Frosty the Hit Man... >Moon: Snowfights and Snowman are so been fun stuff to bulding and >wreck....and you use them for your evil plans...this is not >allow..I will punish you in the name of the Moon. Mike (looking around): The hell!?! Kiyone (Also glancing): That came outta nowhere. >Emarald: Boring BIG TIME!!! Crow:I'll drink to that! >Moon: I will show you action. All:Really! Mike: This just got a *lot* more interesting! >Emarld: Great!! Get her >Mars: Get close and you get burm. >Snow: Emarald...Fire kills me. Tom (sarcastic): Ya don't say! >Emarald: As long as the necklace is on you. Snowman, you don't >have to worry. >Snow: Oh, I forget. (Emarald gets a sweatdrop as Snow moves towards the Scouts) Kiyone (Emerald): There goes a stupid, *stupid* man. >Mars: You ask for it. MARS CESITIAL FIRE SURROND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Crow (Booming):In *SENSER-SOUND!* Mike (Holding ears): Neat trick. Crow: Thanks. >(8 balls of fire burn..but 5 of them bounce off...but ending with >the Sailor Scouts. 2 of them, cut a hole in the necklace) Tom (Snowman): Cheap QVC necklace! grumble, gripe... >Moon: Venus, aim your chain at hole of the Necklaces, them you >use your Mars use the firebird to make this driod water, OK? >Venus: Right. VENUS LOVE-ME CHAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Crow (Snowman): Hehehe, Frosty's been very naughty... Kiyone leans to Crow, flips him over & ties him up. Crow: RMMMRPH!!! Mike: You're getting good at that. Kiyone: Thanks! >(The chain removes the necklace from the driod) Tom: Hikeeba! Crow wiggles about furiously >Mars: MARS FIREBIRD INIGTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >(The driod is weak..but not melt it) Mike (elderly): I'm not dead! I feel happy! >Moon: MOOOOOOON SCEPTER ELIMATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kiyone:Doc Thinker's dangerously close to endangering the explanation point popluation. Tom (laughs): No kidding! Crow (toppling over):RRRRRRPH! (CRASH!, Crow gets back into his seat, untied, and shakes himself) ----------------------------------------------------------------- >Wiseman: Emarald and Starfire, I have suprize for you. Do you > belive in a joly old man delivers toys and candy to good girls > and boys Crow:Wilfed Brimley. Mike (Old Man): Grow old, live forever, and always eat oatmeal. Tom (Old Man): Right thing to do, tasty way to do it. > ..but to bad ones have delivers... Kiyone: Gumby's Pizza. Crow: Ick! >Emarld: Santa Claus? >Wiseman: Yes, if since we are magic, we can find him and use a >drestory is North American Factory/Shipping Dept. with can stop >Crystral Eros from becoming form. Emarald. With we can >drestory that United States. Tom (enthusiasticly): Right, that's the plot! Everyone got it? Mike: Nope Kiyone: Not the faintest idea. Crow (Looking at the last lines): Uhhh... Tom: Good, glad I'm not the only one. > Starfire, you are back on. We just >send a driod. Driod Elva, come from >(A green elve prop in) Tom (sobbing): Deelit, NO! >Wiseman: Ready, Elva? >Elva: As I every been. Kiyone (sighs): Yeah, whatever, off to my death I go. >Wiseman: Go to the North Pole. I will drop you of at the location >of Beryl's ex-hideout. Go up for 4 miles to Santa's workshop. Crow: Take a right at the Quik-E Mart and... >Find and drestory the North American Factory. Been while of red >dress figures....Mrs and Mr. Claus, themself. They know to spot >trouble in a super-flash. Tom: They've been working out, studying Tai Chi & all. >Elva: Got it!!!!! >----------------------------------------------------------------- >(3 Days Later) >Santa: What happen to the North American Fan-Fictony. Mike: Fan-Fictory? He's joking right? Crow: "Out poops Santa Claus!" Mike & Bots start giggling hysterically Kiyone: I don't even want to know! >Mrs. Cluas: It's exploes ever night at 12:00 on the dot. Not a >piece of toy is leave. >Santa: We to call on super-heros to help us. >Mrs. Cluas: Who? Mike: The Wonder Twins! Kiyone & Tom: Wonder Twin powers...Active! >Santa: The ones that defeat the youma 4 miles down? Crow: That must have been a freaky big youma! >Mrs. Claus: The Sailor Scouts? >Santa: Yes. >Mrs. Claus: Who do you know them...they are dead. >Santa: They still living...as you know I can......(singing) see >when you sleeping......I know when you are weak...I now when you >been bad or good....Been good for GOOD SAKE. All begin shudder Kiyone: Must...control...Fist of Death! Tom: Yes, it's "Dr Thinker's Holiday Classics"! >Mrs. Claus: I try to cook tonight dinner. It will take a few days. Crow (Mrs Claus): That Serena eats like a horse. >----------------------------------------------------------------- >(2 days, later, Serena's house) >Mrs. Moonstone: Serena, you get a letter from Stana? >Serena: (shocked) I haven't even send my? What does he want. Tom (Santa): Dear Ms. Moonstone, I'm an elderly man who... >Mrs. Moonstone: We can't open it and we try to open it with >Sammy. So with think it's for you..but it we can't open it Crow: Gah...Tuuuu... Mike: Oh, *no* he's fading out on us. Crow collapses onto Kiyone's lap >------------------------------------------------------------- >(Same days, 30 mintunes later, Temple Kitchen) >Raye: You get a LETTER FROM SANTA???????? READ IT!!! >Serena: (rips its opens) WOWSER!!! Tom: She's Penny Gadget all of the sudden! Kiyone: Crow! Speak to me! > (reading it) Dear Sailor >Scouts, I need you help. My North American Factory is been blow >up every night at Midnight. Mike: Have you considered *security* perhaps. Crow utters softly Kiyone: Hmm? What's that... (leans down) > If this keep on happening, no boys or >girls are going to get they girls Crow (perks up): Now *THAT'S* an awesome gift! Kiyone (Tossing Crow to his seat): Eechi! Tom: Y'Know that might replace "Out poops Sailor Mercury" as the worst Thinker-ism. Mike: What about "Gyra famous on Amy"? > ...in think it could been and is >the Nega-Verse. At the temple, they will be limo get into. Crow: We'll take the limo to the North Pole, brilliant! Kiyone: No, it's the "North American Factory", it could be in Branson, Missouri for all we know! > You >wll be take to Nephrite's masion..then a magic portal appear. >Jump in and join us. Mike (ominous): JOIN US. > Sign...Santa Claus. >Raye: It's have a un-believe aroura of goodnes to this. Crow (stoned): Happiness Pie... >Amy: So we should go? >Raye: But...Christmas is some time to get into your roots or >having fun...and in Japan..it's romance. >Serena: We meet St. Nick Kiyone (Raye): Like I said, romance! Mike & Bots: EWWWW! Kiyone: I've been around Crow to long. Crow (slyly): Hee-Hee! >Rest of Scouts: Argeed!!!!!!!!!!!!! >---------------------------------------------------------------- >Santa's Villege) >Santa: Greetings, Sailor Scouts. Tom (Deep):Welcome, Power Rangers Mike: Tom, Zordon's been off the show for years. Crow starts softly singing the "Big Head" song >Moon: You need help? >Santa: I think my portal need work. I not as good as Jadiete is. >Moon: Those eyes look familir don't there? >Mars: NEPHRINE? >Jutiper: Who is he? >Santa: One of this Earth, control by the evil of Queen Beryl. He died. >Mars: Why did I have a feeling that you are living? >Santa: Oh, rats! Come in. Kiyone sits in stunned silence. Tom: The Claus' are youma. Crow:Uhhhh... Mike (sighs): Sit back everyone, this outta be good! >-------------------------------------------------------- >(Santa's Castle) >Santa: Touche, Raye. I have long story. Come here, Marphrite >Mrs. Claus: That's my own name? Our the Sailor Scouts, area? Tom (Santa/Nephrite): What about my area!? >(A picture of Molly holding Nephrite) >Santa (V.O): After Zoyitice kill me in the park. Crow: Last week on Santa meets the Sailor Scouts... > Instead killing, >the killing activated a spell. Bubble transport. It's was also >Time Transport. Mike: Whaa!?! Kiyone: OK, look. You can't flashback to something that didn't happen! That's cheating! >(We see Nephrite in white togas) Crow (Nephrite): Pants Party! >Santa: (V.O) We land in one of moutains in what is now know as >Greece. With a other gods, Tom: Carl, Mark, Steve... > who were alsot killing but in >different times. We control want happen to those living in. I >play Eros, Venus's son, but it's was more like lover. Because she >was Maphrite, my wife from my past. After the fall of the Greek >and Roman Empire Kiyone: This is one hellova flashback! Mike: So...Sailor moon takes place before ancient Greek & Roman times!?! Crow: Logic...centers overloading... > we decide to go back to the North Pole and hide >out from Queen Beryl...since I did know I want back into >time..under I meet Serenity's angel. She told me, I was back in >time and was shocked to see that I was OK. Kiyone (Serenity): He's a real nice guy, really. > She give me a red coat >and red pants, black belts....and Tom: And an extra white beard. >(We see Santa Claus and Mrs. Cluas) >Santa: Mrs. and Mr. Santa Cluas were born. Please do not tell anyone. >Scouts: We won't >Santa: Sailor Scouts Honor? >Scouts: SAILOR SCOUTS HONOR Crow (kid): And obey the law of the pack! Mike: That's quite possibly the single most contrived plot twist I have ever seen. Tom: And we've seen *a lot!* Kiyone: That was so...dumb! That *easily* topped Tuxedo Wesley! >Santa: Well, we have a mysterious elves, dim elves that eyes are >pink. No elves are ever pink. Tom (Santa/Nephrite): Well, I supposed if you cooked them right... > Her name is Elva, she is try to >help....I think she can be a driod. >Moon: What her job. >(Opens the door) >Santa: I give her the job of figure out what is cuasing the >explose in the factory. Mike laughs weakly Crow: Give the job to the *Mysterious, Pink Elf*. Smooth, Santa--err--Nephrite--umm Whoever the hell you are! > I will ask a evles to take you to the >fan-fictory. Elvi, I have job for you. >Elvi: (off-screen) Yes, Santa? >Santa: I want you to take the Sailor Scouts to the North Factory. >Elvi: (off-screen) Ok! Kiyone (Elvi/Elva): Hell! this missions easy! Victims just walk right to tha door! >--------------------------------------------------------- >(North American Fanctory - Inside) >(We see a open door. The light shes use the factory is in ruins) >Elvi: (Off-screen)See you! >Moon: (Off-screen) Let go!!! (The Scouts enter. We see Elva) Tom: Ut...gah...What? Crow: Odd little scene. >Elva: Nothing wrong, please, leave. >Moon: Mars? >Mars: EVIL ENERGY!!!!!!!!!!! Mike: Oh, everything's evil, isn't it, Raye? Kiyone: Well, so much for taking her by suprise, eh? Tom scoffs >Elva: Rats!! Crow: Deelit is back and she's pissed! >(A orange human with super-green eyes appears) Mike: My gods! it's Super Saiyen Oscar! All: Ahhhh! Run Away! >Moon: I think villains were done with strange look-things, the >next on all text.... Tom: Or the mess of *this* text! > those be deals to ruin Christmas will been >punish by magic of the Moon and Christmas. And that means you. >Elva: Yeah, right! Tom laughs Kiyone (Sailor Moon): You didn't have to say that!...Whaaaaaaaaaaa! Mike: You OK, Kiyone? Kiyone (shakes her head): Not quite over that Bane fic. Just give me a second. >Moon: Moon Scepter..... >Mars: Mars Cestial..... >Mercury: Mercury Icestorm..... >Jutiper: Jutiper Thunder......... >Venus: Venus Love-Me............................ >Scouts (In Unision) Elimate, Fire Surrond, Blast, Zap, Chain!!!!!!!!! Crow: Ouch. (The Combine attack turns Elya into the dust. The factory is now working. A bunch of toys are in background) Tom: The toys just "pooped" out of nowhere. Hehehehe. Crow: Passing a decoder ring's bad enough, but this... Mike & Kiyone Kiyone (looks to Mike): How'd you do that? Mike: A secret! >Sailor Moon: We did it!!!! Santa will be pround. >(A portal appear) Tom: Back into the catacombs to fight the Butcher... Mike: Click, kill, repeat, click, kill... >------------------------------------------------------------ >(Serena's house) >Serena: What a dream? That's remind..I still haven't mail my >letter to St. Nick. >------------------------------------------------------------- >(Santa's Church, Midnight) Crow: His *church*?!? At least he doesn't have delusions of granduer. Sheesh! >Santa: Good thing, I still rember that erase spell............... >---------------------------------------------------- >THE END. >Reason: I just want to think that Nephrite did not died. Kiyone: Yeah just ignore those major points of the story. No biggie. Tom (dumbly): My brain hurts! Mike lifts Tom up > So I >decide on using Santa Cluas, a big figure, Crow (leaving, Santa): Hey, I'm just big boned! Now, where are those Cheesy Poofs... > which give me a idea >after so much writer blocks. Hope that you like it. Whether you >do or not..send e-mail to WINKSTW@SSSNET.COM. Mike: Goodnight & Happy Holidays, Doc! All: Huzzah! (Exit sequence 1,2,3,4,5,6) (SOL Bridge, the red warning light is flashing on the Mads console) Kiyone: Oh! Looks like B-Ko's having some problems! Mike smacks the console (Deep 13: B-Ko is attempting to restrain a thin teenager dressed up in a Bane costume. Picture the pre-Venom Bane in Batman & Robin) B-Ko: Get the hell out of my lab you brat! Li'l Bane (Annonciating ala a pro wresler): Unhand me, you girl! Or your series is next! And YOU (Points to the camera) who do not support the *ISM* shall be tormented by our henchmen. Now, (strikes a pose), you who poisons the internet with... (SOL Bridge) Tom: Poisons the...huh? Crow: I have no ideal... (Deep 13, B-Ko has opened the vault door, and appears to be talking to someone. Li'l Bane continues, oblivous) Li'l Bane: Me and my boys are doing a little survey: Are you (pose) *IN* the ISM! Or just another depraved Moonie?... (SOL Bridge) Kiyone: For Pete's sake, it's a damn cartoon! Mike: Maybe you should focus on something a little more important. Crow: Like industrial arts... Tom: Or basic writing techniques. (Deep 13, a massive man with a shaven head and a red beard is approaching Li'l Bane. Wrestling fans will recognize him as Leon White aka Vader. Li'l Bane continues his speil) Li'l Bane: Just what I thought! A dirty Moonie! You, my friend, are now an enemy of the *ISM*, and *ME*, Bane! The Firestarter, The Lord of the Dance, the... (Leon taps on Li'l Bane's, shoulder) Big Bane (growls): I want my costume back. Li'l Bane (sheepish): Heh. Oh poopie. (Big Bane yanks the member of the ISM off screen, yelps of pain are heard as it cuts back to the SOL. Kiyone is chomping on a bag of popcorn, Mike winces at the off-screen carnage) Li'l Bane (faint voice-over): Akkk my nose! Ooof my tool! Aiiieee... Tom: I can't tell you how richly satisfying this is. Kiyone: Power Bomb his gaijin butt! Crow (DDP): BANG! (A resounding *THUD* is heard and everyone winces) All: Ouch. (Deep 13, B-Ko has just finished writing a check. Big Bane wanders in from the left. As he pulls on his mask, B-Ko hands off the check. Bane grunts his thanks and wonders toward the back of the lab.) B-Ko: Well, this has proven to be an interesting first day! Until next time, subjects.(A thin teen- aged boy in a tank top & boxers staggers in. He is bruised and clearly dazed. He collapses on top of B-Ko) Urgh, get off! Ewwww! (She rolls him off and he falls face first onto The Button) *BLIP* Fwoooosssshhh... It's been a while since I did my last MSTing, so I might be out of practice. Tell me what you think. This MSTing, especially the Bane vs Vader fight, was not meant as an insult to Bane. Granted, Janus's views and web site are not my cup of tea, either. Naturally asuming the viewer is too mundane to "get" role-playing games and Sailor Moon in *not* a good start. Remember: You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Ugh! Can't believe I just said that! Happy Holidays to all! Tim McLees 12/18/97 >Santa: They still living...as you know I can......(singing) see >when you sleeping......I know when you are weak...I now when you >been bad or good....Been good for GOOD SAKE.