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2001: A Space Odyssey

I applaud Stanley Kubrick for making a very realistic space movie.  When watching such movies as Star Wars, Armageddon, and Independence Day, I remember thinking, "Just once I'd like to see a movie where spaceships don't make SWOOSHING sounds in a vacuum, and where objects do not travel faster than the speed of light.  Let's have a little more science in our science fiction."  Well it turns out that 2001: A Space Odyssey, is that movie.  Good job, Stan.  

About half-way through the movie, however, anybody who's ever dreamed of being an astronaut will discover something shocking:

Surprise!  Space is boring!  Like a good, swift, kick in the teeth, this film makes you realize that only those with the patience of a corpse are fit to be astronauts.  I would rather eat worms than endure another totally silent spaceship-docking sequence.  You know what?  I changed my mind.  Bring back those SWOOSHES and hyperdrives, please.  And none of this half-impulse power bullshit.  Let's go warp-speed all the time.

Having seen this movie, I am now positive that if NASA ever said to me, "Hey Daniel, we've got three seats on our new space shuttle to Mars and we're one man short.  Whaddaya say?", I wouldn't even have to consider it.  I'd tell them, "Nah...but can you post some boring high-resolution pictures of Martian rocks on your website for me when you get there?  That'd be nifty."

While the first two-thirds of the film are very well done (especially the interior of the rotating space-station), you will have an easier time working chopsticks with your ass cheeks than comprehending the final shots.  Here is a nugget of trivia about the making of this movie that can perhaps shed some light on what happened:

Right after the scene where HAL9000 is destroyed, Stanley Kubrick, sitting in his director's chair, said, "OK, cut!  That's a wrap, boys!"  As an April Fool's joke, some of the actors did a few extra scenes on their own after Stan went home that night, and paid the editing department to splice their little shit-fest surprise into the end of the movie.  You should have seen Kubrick's face in the editing room when, instead of the credits rolling as he expected, he witnessed 5 minutes of seizure-inducing neon flashes and painfully annoying sound effects!  When he regained consciousness, there was a fetus on the screen, superimposed on the image of a planet.  Then Stanley said, "OK, very funny you guys!  Douglas?  Did you do it?  Was it you, Gary?  C'mon, tell me!"  Everyone had a good laugh.  Then Mr. Kubrick went back to snorting cocaine and forgot all about the extra footage, which is how the theatrical release came to be.

True story.  I mean, how else can you explain the movie?


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