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Robin Williams is Not Funny

Here's a simple logic problem for you:

1) Only good comedians are funny.

2) Robin Williams is not a good comedian.

What conclusions can be drawn?  If you read the title of this article, you already know the answer.  This truth is also immediately apparent to those of you who have seen any of the following:

Why is he so terribly unfunny?  After many years spent pondering this puzzle, I slowly began to realize something quite amazing.  Here's my discovery, in pictorial form:

Pretty obvious now that I pointed it out for you, huh?  Yes, it's virtually impossible to distinguish Robin Williams from a great big douchebag.

This revelation led me to further insights.

Quite simply, when the camera hits him, he's like a kid with ADHD on amphetamines.  He churns out unnecessary impersonations rapid-fire, and delivers his other material in a chaotic mix of different voices for no apparent reason.  He hurls his pathetic jokes at the audience as fast as he can to disguise the fact that they're not laughing:

You'll notice that he only accepts roles where there's an opportunity to showcase his stupid impressions.  Judging from the movies of his that I've suffered through, he has a boner for Shakespeare, and tries to work that into his schtick as well whenever the director is out taking a piss or is otherwise distracted.  Shakespeare is not funny, in any century.

Here's a list of things that are funnier than Robin Williams:

1) People getting hit in the balls on those blooper shows.  I love that.

2) Michael Jackson's face.

3) Every other comedian you can think of (yes, even Carrot Top).


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