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Golden Key Rejection Letter of 2002

I put this together from scraps of other rejection letters that I found on the Internet:

September 3, 2002

Dear Golden Key Chapter Advisor,

Thank you for your offer of membership in the Golden Key International Honour Society dated September, 2002.  I regret to inform you that it does not meet my needs at this time.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of offers for honour society memberships.  The volume of mail that I receive, however, makes it impossible for me to respond more directly to such invitations.  Several of my colleagues reviewed your letter in a tiered process that ensures individuals with different backgrounds and perspectives see all such offers that are sent to me.  While no process will protect against an occasional mistake in judgement, I am confident that all offers are given thoughtful consideration.

Elimination under this system doesn't mean that you are not qualified to offer your benefits to other fine young men and women.  It merely reflects the high calibre of honour societies competing for my acceptance.

I wish you good luck in your future endeavours.


Daniel Isaac


They didn't write back.  Instead, they sent another offer the following year.

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