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Words I Hate

brainchild - This means the same thing as "idea", but the people who favour this word will never settle for only four letters when there's a word more than twice as long out there.  To me, it stirs up disturbing images of a fertility experiment gone horribly wrong.  This word should have been aborted in its first trimester.

taking it all in - I first heard this line on Joe Millionaire, used when the conversation between Joe and some hag with dollar-signs in her eyes had died down to an uncomfortable silence.

    Hag: "What are you thinking about?"

    Joe: "Just taking it all in."

I'm not sure, but maybe it's a euphemism for "staring at your tits".  Oh well, I guess a stupid question deserves a stupid answer.  This expression has no meaning, but is perhaps a useful tactic when either you or your date are dumber than a sack of dirt.  Nevertheless, I hate it for its Zen/philosophical pretense.

surfing the net - Sitting on a folding chair in front of a computer screen eating greasy snack foods?  Hell no!  You're a gnarly surfer-dude, shralping and hanging-10 with your virtual bros.  This expression is a contrived attempt to popularize the Internet with non-dweebs, who might otherwise be out doing extremely cool things, or thumping some nerd skulls.  I think it's safe to say we no longer need this little gimmick to sell people on the usefulness of e-mail and Internet porn.

cyber - This prefix for all things computer-related really annoys me.  A quick search reveals thousands of new ridiculous words that are sad attempts by dullards to make something sound cooler than it has any right to be.  For example:

cyber space the Internet
cyber punk pimple-faced hacker
cyber terrorist cyber punk who stays up past his bedtime
cyber crime actions of a cyber punk/terrorist
cyber kids kids who should play outside more often
cyber kitchen a web site about recipes
cyber cafe place for those without a good computer at home
cyber journalist a writer who isn't good enough for paper publications
cyber sex ability to type with one hand


Got some words you hate?  Send them to me. 


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