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Words I Hate
brainchild - This means the same thing as "idea", but the people who favour this word will never settle for only four letters when there's a word more than twice as long out there. To me, it stirs up disturbing images of a fertility experiment gone horribly wrong. This word should have been aborted in its first trimester.
taking it all in - I first heard this line on Joe Millionaire, used when the conversation between Joe and some hag with dollar-signs in her eyes had died down to an uncomfortable silence.
Hag: "What are you thinking about?"
Joe: "Just taking it all in."
I'm not sure, but maybe it's a euphemism for "staring at your tits". Oh well, I guess a stupid question deserves a stupid answer. This expression has no meaning, but is perhaps a useful tactic when either you or your date are dumber than a sack of dirt. Nevertheless, I hate it for its Zen/philosophical pretense.
surfing the net - Sitting on a folding chair in front of a computer screen eating greasy snack foods? Hell no! You're a gnarly surfer-dude, shralping and hanging-10 with your virtual bros. This expression is a contrived attempt to popularize the Internet with non-dweebs, who might otherwise be out doing extremely cool things, or thumping some nerd skulls. I think it's safe to say we no longer need this little gimmick to sell people on the usefulness of e-mail and Internet porn.
cyber - This prefix for all things computer-related really annoys me. A quick search reveals thousands of new ridiculous words that are sad attempts by dullards to make something sound cooler than it has any right to be. For example:
| cyber space | the Internet |
| cyber punk | pimple-faced hacker |
| cyber terrorist | cyber punk who stays up past his bedtime |
| cyber crime | actions of a cyber punk/terrorist |
| cyber kids | kids who should play outside more often |
| cyber kitchen | a web site about recipes |
| cyber cafe | place for those without a good computer at home |
| cyber journalist | a writer who isn't good enough for paper publications |
| cyber sex | ability to type with one hand |
Got some words you hate? Send them to me.
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