Greetings, readers! for my 10th Antific, I give you fiction that could become fact! Toad Kinopio(a great genius) once created a moonie obsession scale. it had 5 levels:

1:normal viewer


3:Slightly obsessed fan

4:obsessed fan

5:Psychotic fan.

This scale can rate any moonie......... For now. Although unlikely, there is a chance that Toad(a genius of geniuses) will be forced to add a 6th level to the scale if my story does(although darn unlikely) come true:


Obsession over sailor moon is horrendous, and this story gives a view on what could come if obsession surpasses level 5.......

A note to readers: This is purely fiction. I doubt this will come true. No insult to any moonies levels 1-5 is intended. To level 6?

Get help.


Sailor's Gate


-Los Angeles, 2002-


A young woman in her mid-20's was harangueing the passing crowds of people about the popular anime 'Sailor Moon'. True, many found it appealing, but the masses of obsessed fans and their rants scared off most would-be fans of the show. In fact, some fans were getting overly obsessed over it.......

-Cathedral of the Senshi, unknown location, 2002-

The Church was crowded today. Although the small building was normally crowded with the several hundred Sailor Moon worshippers, this was a record attendance. The service started with a prayer to each scout, and then a singing of the Sailor Moon theme song. Then, the church announcements were made.

Archbishop Polaris got up to the golden pulpit with the solar system engraved in it, and Spoke. "Followers of the moon, I have glorious news for you today! I have recived calls from the Priests of the Church of the rose, the church of Saturn, and the church of Pluto! They have agreed to join us in our joining with the Senshi in the moon realm above, where we will ALL become part of the senshi!"

The crowd went wild, cheering and screaming, for the final 3 churches had joined them in their journey to meet the allmighty Sailor Moon and the other senshi. archBishop Polaris silenced the crowd and continiued on.

"The chosen date for our ascending to the Moon realm is June 30th! We must all leave our homes and posessions to enter the house of the chosen point in order to leave our anime viewing vessels and ascend! We are all commanded to fast and watch the sacred anime untill 11 days before the chosen time!then, we shall spend each day praying to one of the senshi, that our journey be safe! upon the chosen day, we will then ascend!"

The masses of ultra-obsessed moonies cheered and screamed, for that date was only 2 weeks away. They Prayed and sang and shouted praises to the senshi throughout the remainder of the church service.

-rural Japan, 2002-

Taro Tsunami had finally gotten an offer on his beautiful mansion in the Japaneese countryside, and the offer was quite high. 400,000,000,000 yen for a 400,000 square foot mansion, set upon 20 acres of lush, green countryside. Quite an expensive chunk of land, but still, what the buyer was offering was still an incredibly high price. But the land would soon be sold, and he would be once again a very rich man. Dang sex scandals and bad stocks! But his fortune would be tremendous once again.....

Taro's buyer came to the mansion at 4pm sharp - just on time. He was a young man, dressed in a colorful robe with symbols of the 9 planets , the sun, and the moon on it. a strange(but apparently EXTREMELY rich) man, but if the final tour of the property went well, it would be sold, and Taro Tsunami would be 400,000,000,000 yen richer.

The buyer didn't really care about the design of the house, or the land. All he cared about was that it was a house capable of holding several thousand people, and that the location was very secluded. The deal went through, Taro was paid in cash, and the buyer then kicked him off his newly acquired land.

But as Taro left to go home with his immense fortune, he could only wonder why one would pay so much for some land, or why it would need to be so secluded..........

-rural Japan, June 19, 2002-

The mass migration of the Senshi worshippers had begun. From many places in the wordl, hundreds of moonies departed from their homes to the chosen place in the Holy land of Japan. Altogether, 10,000 moonies had come to the massive estate bought by the last of their church funds. only 11 days till their ascention, when they would leave their anime viewing receptacles.......

-rural Japan, June 30th, 2002-

The day of ascention had arrived! Much singing and praising was going on at the massive estate bought by the churches. In just a few short hours, the ascention could come.

It started when all of the moonies awoke at 4 am. Tired as they were, they had to work quickly, or the mystic portal that would allow them into the moon realm would seal shut forever, and the negaverse would consume them.

Everyone First put on their sailor gear - Sailor Fukus for the women, Tuxedoes for men. They all also wore white Keds sneakers.

At 5 AM, everyone went to the massive worship room that had been hastily constructed by knocking out a few walls, thus joining many rooms. Archbishop Polaris gave a final sermon on the wonders of the moon realm above, and then closed the final church service with a prayer to the entire senshi, asking for a safe journey.

At 10 AM, the ascention begun. They would ascentd in waves, to make sure no one was left behind. To ascend, one would consume a cyannide filled chocolate in the shape of a crescent. there would be 11 waves. the first 10 containing about 1000 followers of the senshi, then the 11th would be the glorious ascention of the church leaders. the final one to go would be the archbishop himself, to make sure that everyone had gone.

Waves and waves of ascending moonies left their anime viewing receptacles over the next 5 hours. every half hour, another wave would ascend.

-3 PM-

The Last of the 10th wave had finally ascended, and now, seeing that all were now safely in the realm of the moon, Archbishop Polaris excecuted the final part of the ascention. The 11th wave was broken into smaller mini-waves. The deacons ascended, followed by the Nuns. Then the priests, the bishops, and finally, The archbishop himself.

Archbishop Polaris looked at all the discarded anime viewing receptacles around him. He knew that his fellows were allready in their higher forms now. He then took a bite of his chocolate, and perished from the earth.

-july 8th, 2002-

The mass suicide of the sailor moon cult had been discovered by the outside world. Not since Heaven's gate had there been such an atrocity! For months after, the story of the cultists dominated the newspaper headlines. It even gave way to many made for television movies based on the cult. All Sailor Moon merchandise was ripped from the shelves, and every last reel of film containing the whore of satan was burned. Millions of Sailor Moon pages were also shut down.

- September, 2017, Chicago -

A man was holding up a sign depicting a large purple dinosaur and some kids. He was yelling out to the passers by theese words:

"Armageddon is coming! Repent, and love Barney!"

Some cops saw him, and shot him on sight.

The End

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