Yes, here it is! My call for civic duty is just too strong. I have ignored numerous death threats to bring you the
Episode Guide of DOOM!!!!

Episode 3

"Omigosh! I gain 1/200000 of an OUNCE! Ima whale!!! Waaaaah!!!!!"

At the beginning of this episode, Serena weighs herself. Seeing that see is a little heavier, she has a fit. Luna the magical black cat tries to cheer her up by drawing a picture of her if she diets. However this one is fatter than the present Serena. I wonder if Luna draws badly or just wanted to see Serena go into a health craze, I know I'd like to watch!! We also learn Melvin the nerd stereotype's hobby; following his teacher around and taking pictures of her in leotards. He tells Serena, Molly and their friends where they can get thinner. I still think this plot is rather thin (no pun intended). I mean, everyone in this series is under 150 pounds, even the adults! If these people got any lighter, they would float away!! Anyway all the girls go to the gym where Jediete is hosting his latest evil scheme. He tells them that if they starve themselves and work constantly on his exercise machines, they will get thin. There is truth to that statement: when people die they do loose significant weight. Eventually Serena gets tired, feels sorry for herself and scarfs down a bag of donuts. The next day all of the girls including Serena go to the Gym. Their emaciated teacher is struggling to walk yet somehow no one notices except Luna. Luna beats up Serena (excuse me put should super heroines really be able to be beaten up by cats?) and gets her to turn into Sailor Moon and save the day. She then discovered that she has gained move weight and acts surprised. Hmm, do you this that half dozen donuts could have done it?

Episode 8

"Nightmare in Dread Land" Wha Ha Ha!

As this episode begins the Sailor Scouts are found fighting their most hated enemy, themselves. Raye and Serena fight over a comic book while Amy reads a book (2,000 words per minute) getting herself 10 chapters ahead. She then suggests they go to an amusement park. When I first saw this part I almost thought Amy was going to have fun for once but I was quickly corrected. Turns out a NEGAVERSE plot was being held there. So much for fun loving Amy. We then see Jediete in security guard cloths giving a press conference. If I was a reporter I would rather go to a company CEO or a business manager than a security guard, but what do I know? Once again people are mysteriously disappearing. However it's "just a rumor started by our competitors. Their jealous." Yeah, and no one can account for several hundred people that are not going home, showing up for work or being seen anywhere. As a evil mastermind, Jediete just doesn't cut it. The sailor scouts and Luna are then in Dreamland (the park). One thing that is very strange is how did Luna get in? Most amusement parks have a strict no pets policy. Considering how many times she talks in public, Luna probably debated her way in. The group splits up into two groups, Luna and Amy; and Raye and Serena. That was probably Amy and Luna's way of getting some quiet time away from the constant arguing. Serena and Raye almost kill a kid, the rack style then take a ride on the kiddie train (wow, talk about defenders of the universe!). Meanwhile Amy and Luna go to the candy party where everyone promptly gets their energy drained including their protectors Amy and Luna. Serena wants candy so she transforms into Sailor Moon and Raye turns into Sailor Mars. The door was locked so they blew it up. It's a good thing that the Negaverse is always committing a diabolical scheme or the Sailor Scouts would have to pay an amount equal to Micheal Eisner's yearly salary in property damage. Once inside they discover to their disappointment that the candy is not real. Oh and hundred of people were being captured and a psycho doll was trying to kill them but that wasn't as important as the candy. They get in a brief skirmish with the monster-of-the-day and Tuxedo Mask saves them yet again. He's been practicing ventriloquism. He doesn't open his mouth at all yet he manages to give a inspirational speech. Sailor Moon also changes her skin color when she gives her "I'll punish you!" speech. Moon and Mars save Amy who turns in Mercury (the writers sure like the letter M don't they?). Raye uses her paper power to stop the monster and it's blown to itty bitty pieces.

Episode 12

"Born Free!! As free as the wind blows!! As free as the ... AAARRGH!!!"

It's amazing but true! Amy has acquittances outside of school!! Apparently her only friend is a weird looking gardener with a safari hat. It is also clear that there at least two artist teams working on Sailor Moon. One of the teams draws Amy's hair somewhat realistic. The other draws it like her head was dumped in a bucket of super glue. Back to the story, it happens that the park safari boy gardens is going to mowed down to build a building. This is pretty fake. First, parks are public land and cannot be built on and second, it is incredibly bad PR for a company to destroy a beloved community park. Neflyte uses reads his horoscope to find out that safari boy is his next victim. He puts his evil sign that doesn't really mean anything (it really doesn't!!) on safari boy's hat and vamooses. Another thing I don' like about Sailor Moon is the incredible lack of originality. Safari boy uses his new powers to make animals' eyes go all red and attack people. This is the exact same thing that happens to the animals in Unico. Unico is a lesser known anime about a baby unicorn that makes people happy and the gods don't like it so they want him erased (not much for plot there either). Near the end the pad guy who looks like Malikyte with black hair (Malikyte was probably stolen too) makes all the animals' eyes go red and go crazy and they attack a chipmunk. Like I said, not much in terms of plot. Wrapping up Sailor Moon, a huge monster comes out of safari boy and the the Scouts beat it. Didn't see that one coming!

Episode 14

"I don't care, what my kitty says, I'm gonna be a super model."

This episode opens as Serena and Molly stare at a picture of a kid, Peter, who won a photography contest. He happens to go to Raye's school. However she doesn't want them getting close. I guess guy-crazy Raye wants to hoard all of the guys for herself. Considering she's an obnoxious loudmouth who always complains... wait, I just described myself, uh, um, lets just skip this part Okay? Well to make a short story even shorter, Nephlyte saves Peter and put his evil sign on his camera. He then advertises for models. Naturally Serena and all her friends enter and are admitted. Now when Serena is chosen for a model you KNOW somethings not right. When they actually get to the place where their photo's are taken, Luna sees Peter suck girls into his camera. Luna tells Serena but does she believe her? No! How stupid could you be? A highly selective guy just happens to pick every girl is town to be a model for him. He starts acting mean like many other Negaverse infected people before his and every time Luna suspects something it happens. Could Luna have possibly picked someone worse for the job? Luna steals part of Serena's bathing suit (no, unlike many other animes you do not see Serena topless or nude. I'm sorry if I disappointed some real losers out there) and leads her to see Peter sucking up even more girls. You'd think they'd catch on when the last batch mysteriously disappeared. Anyway she beats Peter and the camera monster (wow what a surprise! I didn't see that one coming) and everyone is happy.

More To Come!!

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