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Man, I'm telling you, this is the fun part.  Sometimes. Here's one of them.  My comments in bold.  All format and color changes were retained from the original e-mail.

--
From: Ashley
Subject: Your site sucks!

Dear Whoever Made That Stupid Page,
                        My  name is Ashley and I happened to see your page
while I was lookink through links on MidnightBlue.com and I think your site
Sucked Ass Big-Time! I am a Major Sailor Moon Fan and if you don't like
Sailor Moon than Kiss My Ass! If you just don't like Sailor Moon because it's
a very popular show and there are more Sailor Moon sites than what-ever you
favorite cartoon is than that's your Fuckin' problem, but LEAVE SAILOR MOON
OUT OF IT, O.K.?   (Bastard if your a dude or Bitch if your a girl)
If you have any comments about this E-Mail (Wich you Most-Likely Do) than Hit
Em' Up or E-Mail me At *omitted*.
 

                        Eminem's Little Cuz -Ashley
                                         Screen Name -Eminem_Chick
P.S.
You Are A Gay Bastard
if you're a dude, or A Lesbiand
Bitch if you're a girl. Yeah,
I do High-lite my curses when
I'm Fuckin' Mad. And yes,
I am related to Eminem. No,
Im Not Shittin' You!
--

Wow, 2 weeks into this thing and I've allready got pop culture icon Eminem pissed off at me.  I wasn't expecting that to happen until I stole his turntables and used them to smash his car doors in.

I don't want her to send an angry mob of sellout rappers after me, so by her request, here's me kissing her ass.

BTW, I'm a Gay Bastard.  That saves you the effort of writing 'multiple choice' insults.  Of course, it's kindof pointless to gramatically perfect your insults when the rest of the letter has enough spelling errors to crash your spell checker and turn your mail client into an Eminem lyrics generator, in that order.

I also wanted to start using words commonly used in the Sailor Moon shows, so I replied to her using them.  Enjoy!

--
To: Ashley
From: Gay Bastard
Subject: Re: Your site sucks!

Don't be such a Space Case!  If you like Sailor Moon, I'm gonna mash you into meatloaf! Sizzling.

You're boring me to snores, so i'll just say my website is humongous and leave it at that.

Oh Herbert, of course I'll marry you!
-Gay Bastard

P.S. Tell Eminem that I stole his brain, and am storing it in a rusty Altoids tin.  If he wants it back, he has to give me your hand in marriage.  (Hohohohohoh.  I love medieval courtship movies.)  Also, tell him that Public Enemy kicks his ass any day.  That's REAL rap.  (NOTE to readers: I've never heard a public enemy song in my entire life.  I like Chuck D, though.  Way to kick Lars' ass.)
--

UPDATE: MORE EMAIL!
Ever since I posted my e-mail on this page again, I've gotten a bunch of real "gems".  Again, I swear I didn't forge these.  Seriously.  For re-emphasis: I DIDN'T FORGE THESE, THESE ARE FROM ACTUAL SAILOR MOON FANS

These letters are real prizes.  Even Ashley can't top a few of these.  We'll start off with our first 2-mail set from this peace and forgiveness loving old chap.  Don't ask me why I think he's from England, I'm sortof just pretending he is:

--
From: Beau Belansky
To: Gay Bastard

Hello,
     My name is Beau I think your gay. Why don't you get your friends and
have a bumfucking party. I would like you to tell me why you hate Pretty
solider Sailor Moon. After all it has the same plot as every fantasy movie or
anime in it. But its has something more than girls who are nude and crude, it
has things that teach us what true love, forgiveness and friendship can do
for everybody, and do you know what that means stooge, it means PEACE. Why
because PEACE is based upon LOVE, FORGIVENESS and FRIENDSHIP. I know that
true LOVE can make people stick together thru the hardtimes. Please send me
your response at -omitted-
                    Sincerly,
                        Beau Belansky
--

How about you and your PEACE, LOVE, FORGIVENESS and FRIENDSHIP get together and have a BUMFUCKING PARTY?

I particularly love how this letter makes NO SENSE.  He basically strings 5-10 positive words together randomly and expects me to understand what he's talking about.  They use this kind of thing in those "Neighborhood Unity" commercials that they play in cities where the residents have nothing better to do than shoot eachother and steal hubcaps.

Anyways, if you care so much about peace and love, why don't you get Kiki's Delivery Service?  I don't think you can make a film happier than that one.  Sailor Moons got all that fighting and guns-to-peoples-heads shit.  It's like using Mad Max to promote family values.

I think my favorite thing about Kiki's Delivery Service is that it doesn't have any space divas in it.  A feature that is sorely lacking in most of today's animation.

Well, this guy thought he wasn't annoying and jargled enough on his last letter, so he decided to follow up with this:
--
From: Beau Belansky
To: Bumfucking Partner (me)

Hello again
    I'm sure you know what Hentai is don't you?
Well I'm here to tell you the main defination of hentai
Hentai: Pervert
Etchi: Perverted or Lewd
I'm sure you already the two definitions of Pervert, Perverted, and Lewd.
Please contact me througfh e-mail at -omitted-
Sincerly,
Beau Belansky
--

'Bumfucking' isn't in the dictionary, either.

If there's anything that REALLY annoys me, it's dictionary references.  People that take words so literally that they can only distinquish them if they were added to a big english book by a bunch of Harvard scholars.  If you understand a word to the point where you can tell what I'm talking about, IT'S A PROPER USE OF THE WORD.  Additionally, there are a ton of words out there that represent one thing, but more commonly represent something else.  For example, 'Ass' is supposed to be another word for 'Donkey', but it's more commonly used to describe people like this guy.  I think I hear your chumleys from Scotland Yard calling for another dictionary hunt + bumfucking extraviganza, better hurry up before Watson comes and steals your knickers.  And be back in time for tea & crumpets.  Snoogins.

WE AREN'T DONE YET!  Much more fun mail where that came from!

--
From: Joey

your fuckin damn loser who is running away from your love of salior moon if
you hated  it so much you would not have made a website about it.
 

yours truly,

       Joey

P.S
kiki's delivery service sucked donkey balls! and your mama too blood!
                                                    from the HOOD and friends
--

So, I was gay, now I'm a heterosexual running away from my true love, a badly drawn space diva, full of random blops of mellodrama and an occasional dash of brain death.

I didn't think you could put "Kiki" and "Donkey Balls" in the same sentence, until I met this guy.  I'll post a picture from Kiki's Delivery Service here, and you can mentally put in the "Donkey Balls" part:

--
From: Doug and Felicia Rattin
Subject: Im like ashleyDAMNIT

Dear Gay basterd,or are you a boy?
If you have a prob with sailor moon you shoulnt post it on the net (Basterd)
Damit!! yes i cuss when im fucking mad (gives gay basterd the finger)So KISS
MY FUCKIN ASS OR ELSE IM GONA SICK SAILOR URANUS ON YOU BECAUSE IM DAMMIT
SAILOR MOON AND SAILOR NEPTUNE IS SITTNG RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND YES SHE IS
GIVING YOU THE FUCKING FINGER SO KISS OUR(SAILOR SCOUTS)FUCKING ASS AND YES
I WILL EMAIL YOU AGIN LOL(LOTS OF laghs)
  and wright a message on your web page like you did to ashley or else
 Bye gay basterd ^_^ from sailor moon in person
--

LORD TENTACULA AEND QUEEN BERYL IS SITTING HERE NEXT TO TEH COMPUTER HES GIVING U THE FUCKIN FINGER WITH HIS TENTACLES MOTHERFUCKER@#$#)$_&!(_*#LOLOL!!@!

People seem to LOVE my "gay bastard" bit.  Either people actually think I'm gay, or they're borrowing some comedy bits from the sellout rapper lady.  I'm really starting to identify my self as the new Sailor Moon enemy, "Gay Bastard": the worlds greatest negaverse space villan.

They weren't kidding about e-mailing me again.  Not even an hour later, they sent me this:

--
From: Doug and Felicia Rattin
Subject: SORRY

dear Mr. person
 We are very very sorry of what I have wrote to you. We got in trouble and
grounded the only thing we will write from now on is nice compliments from
now on. I shouldn't have wrote that. It was mean and nasty. We are feeling
very badly for what we have done. I hope you can forgive me. I didn't mean
any of those things so please forgive us. Sorry for this mess. it will
certainly not happen gain's just got mad and wrote but we are still very
very sorry. I will not do that ever again.

Amber
--

Heh.  I hate quitters.

--
From: Mr. Person (me)
To: Amber

Ha!  You think you can get out of it that easily?  As we speak, my Anti Sailor Moon Army is advancing on your house, to get ready to tear down your windows and steal your furniture!  Also, I HACKED YOUR COMPUTER!  HAHA I AM A HACKER!! YOU'LL THINK TWICE BEFORE MESSING WITH THE GAY BASTARD ARMY AGAIN!! HOHOHOHO!@@##@$#(*$&&&&&*(
--

Look where this society is going!  What did I tell you guys?!?!

Welp, back to the gay bashing.

--
From: JJB!

I can't believe such a sick homosexual bastard would put this on a web site
you are a HOE! If I knew you I'd kick your ass
--

And, my informative and lengthy reply:

--
To: JJB!
From: sick homosexual bastard (me)

U R A FAGOT HAHA
--

--
From: Lisa Thompson

YOU SUCK! im a 13 year old boy who happens to be a huge fan of sailormoon!  And i hate you site i stubled on to it on yahoo! and
u should die and go to hell! bye.
-alex
--

I'd like everybody to note that the 'From' box says the sender's name is Lisa.  Nice try, Lisa.  She must have learned the art of disquise from Sailor Moon, which has similarily horrible disquises.  The characters in the show look exactly the same in their attack costumes as they do with 'normal' clothes on, and they have a talking cat, to boot.  Fortunately, the directors of Sailor Moon have a little trick of their own to "disquise" these problems with the show... PLOT GAPS!!! PLOT GAPS!!

--
From: Jounojoejoejoejoejoejoejoejoejoejo Zenrei

LOOK, YOU LITTLE IDIOT, WHY THE H*** DO YOU CARE IF SAILOR MOON IS ON TV OR NOT?!!!! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT, YOU CHIKUSHOME (IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, THAN HA HA HA! I DOUBT SOMEONE AS STUPID AS YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND JAPENESE, ANYWAY.)SO JUST LAY OFF, OKAY?!!! BY THE WAY, IF I WASN'T A STRONG CHRISTIAN, I WOULD BE CUSSING UP A STORM.

HATING YOU WITH AN UNDYING PASSION,

Lady Pluto

P.S. YOU'D BETTER HOPE I NEVER FIND OUT WHERE YOU LIVE!
--

Seeing as you probably live in southern Mississippi, I doubt you live particularly close to me.  Too bad, you could have done a good 'ol fashioned gay lynching.

I particularly love the "I LUV JEZAS" manly penis e-mails.  I probably shouldn't respond to this, but seeing as I'm gay for some reason, I guess I'm going to hell anyways..

I'll admit, my Japanese is a tad rusty (especially in the 'insulting slang' department), but my religious establishment "The satan worshippers of the damned, and witches remotely related to Kiki" allows me to use dictionarys, so I went and looked up "Chikushome" in a dictionary:

chikushoume: son-of-a-bitch

So, in the end, you DID cuss me.  I bet you were banking on Jesus not speaking Japanese, weren't you?  Trust me, he does.

Well, she/he/it doesn't want to swear at me, so I took the initiative and sent this:

--
From: Me

I know where you live.
My cult of pagan witches is coming to sacrifice you.
WEVE GOT FUCKING BROOMS AND WE KNOW HOW TO FLY ON THEM, YA FUCKIN HOMO ASS
BBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH

P.S. For the love of god, WAIT UNTIL WE GET THERE before you start accusing people of witchcraft and killing them..  You people are the worst fucking lynchers on the planet.
--

This next message gets a play-by-play from me.  My comments are in bold, of course.

--
From: Pierces 5
To: Fire Protection

Dear boka!(And you proubly dont know what that means seeing as how you hate sailor moon!)

It's baka, not boka. (It means 'Stupid'; It's also one of the most overused insults on the planet.  Coincidentally, it's also one of the least frequently misspelled insults on the planet as well.)

I love how me hating Sailor Moon suddenly makes it so I can't speak Japanese.  Well, I guess that it -IS- the sole representation of the country, after all.  The entire country gets together and works on making Sailor Moon episodes.

Of course, this person could be referring to 'Bouka' which means 'Fire protection'.  I think for the fun of it, i'll accept this as what the mailer wanted to call me.

   I think sailor moon is kiwii( proubly dont know what that is too!).

And again, It's Kawaii, not Kiwii.  I know enough Japanese to distinquish between descriptive words and tropical fruits.

I DO   NOT like what you are doing here. If you dont like sailor moon then dont post it every were! Just get over it stupied! Like to tell me that sailor moon is stupied to my face?!?!?! ya i thought so!!!!!!!! So HA HA HA!!!!!!!!

Ooooohhh.. you one tuff mothafucka.. you steppen' and shit?  Skippin classes to go smoke cigarettes and shit?  you one badass mother.
If your ninja fighting skills are as good as your Japanese, I'm in for an ass beating Akira style.

sailro moon is just one of the best animes of the would!
And from what i have read you are  so immiter to trash sailor moon, because
from what i have read, you haven't even been able to sut through one little episode becouse you are sooooooo close minded that you cant even Conisider any thing ealse! In fact i bet you cant even sit through one  sereise! I dare you too! You can try upn 44! SO THERE! and dont try haking our comp. because i can doit too! For our info!
                                                                                                      Sailor moons top #1 fan!

For your info.

You're right, I couldn't get through one series, seeing as there's like 100 episodes per series multipied by 2 or 3 series'.  Brings me to my next point: SOME THINGS NEED TO CONCLUDE.  If they made 500 tv-like episodes of kiki's delivery service, I'd probably get bored with that too.  When it gets the point where you've made so many shows that you've exausted every possible variation of "beating up space villans" It's time to work on a new show.

Here's a whole slop bucket of other not-as-interesting mail (and mail I couldn't understand at all), with my comments below.

--
From: Lisa Lamere

i just want you to know that your site really sucks. you know nothing about sailor moon, to even say anything about the show.
--

I don't even know how to interpret that.

--
From: Ailysa Willywhite

Hi there whoever you are, I'm just one of the many people who stumbled onto
your Anti-Sailor moon site..........
I'm going to say this in the nicest way I can: You need help!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of person makes a web site about some thing they hate.
You must have some kind of mental problem,
Don't get me wrong your right that grown men should never even
think about dressing up like Sailor Moon, and to tell you the truth I'm more
of an Outlaw Star fan when it
comes to Anime, but Sailor moon is tight!!!!!!!!!!!
Now if you don't mind I'm going to see movie with my friends now, because
unlike you I have something
better to do with my time...................
--

Considering the only movies out on film at the time this letter was sent are "Jurassic Park 3" and "Legally Blonde", I don't think you're spending your time any better than I am.  Also, theaters have sucked ever since the advent of cell phones.  Drive-ins are kindof fun though, I saw A.I. at one.